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Wash your hands in the water

Wash your hands in the water,

But do not swim in the water, child.

The dam has broken.

The tsunami has washed through

the towns uphill.

We know

because we see the water rising.

I know you want to play in the high tide,

but the wave is coming with a crash.

I know you want to dunk and splash.

But we must hold our maker’s hand

So that we may not drown

like our brothers and sisters closer to

the great source.

Wash your hands in the water,

But do not swim in the water, child.

#poetry #poem #poet #poets #covid #covid19 #coronavirus #washyourhands #water #tsunami #corona #covid_19

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What The Pup by Charlie

Edited by Rich Williams | Illustrated by Sudesha Shrestha | A WORK IN PROGRESS | ”When What the pup arrived at The World Zoo with Mommy and Daddy, he knew exactly who he wanted to see first, the pandas.”

What The Pup

By Charlie Williams

When What the pup arrived at The World Zoo with Mommy and Daddy, he knew exactly who he wanted to see first, the pandas.

But Mommy and Daddy were hungry for breakfast. Their park package passes to the World Zoo included an all-you-can-eat brunch with breakfast quesadillas, tacos, burritos, queso, and nachos.

“I want brunch, can we please get brunch?”

After a tasty Mexican brunch, Mommy, Daddy, and What the Pup sat on a bench watching the other families scarf their breakfast tacos. Mommy grabbed her big blue backpack and darted off, saying, “I’ll be right back!”

She ducked into the bathroom but soon came out, heading away from What the Pup and Daddy, straight for The World Zoo’s fancy, humongous gift shop. Out she came a few minutes later, a smile on her face, and a blue backpack on her back, but completely empty-handed!


Their first stop on their journey was The Penguins and Flamingos, among What the Pup’s favorite. That’s where they met Diego, the Avian Zookeeper. Diego asked What the Pup what he thought of The Penguins and Flamingos.

“Penguins wear tuxes, flamingos wear pink, but I’d like to go see the pandas, I think.”

What the Pup asked Diego, “Where are The Pandas?” Diego smiled, “Of course, the pandas are directly south of the penguins and flamingos.” Diego grabbed another bucket of shrimp and an ice cooler of fish and headed back toward the birds.


Between Mommy and Daddy, both holding What the Pup’s hands, the trio walked down the straight path where they could see the elephants and the aardvarks in the distance.

What the Pup looked forward. Then he looked backward, then he grabbed Daddy’s hand and the loop on Mommy’s big blue backpack and followed the pair until he could see the Elephants and the anteaters, all with such long noses.

Their next stop on their trip was the elephants and aardvarks — classic zoo viewing at its finest. There, What the Pup met Henry, the Safari zookeeper. That’s when Henry asked What the Pup how he was enjoying The World Zoo, especially the elephants and aardvarks.

“Elephants, anteaters, peanuts, and ants. I’m pretty sure pandas eat green bamboo plants.”

What the Pup asked Henry, “Where are the pandas?” Henry smiled. “I see, the pandas are due west of the elephants and aardvarks.” Henry filled a red bucket up with clear water from the green hose and hauled it off, headed for a thirsty aardvark or elephant.


This made no sense to What the Pup. If the pandas were south of the aviary, how could they be west of the safari?


What the Pup raced to catch up with Mommy and Daddy, half skipping, half dancing down the straight path until he caught up. Of course, they’d been keeping an eye on him, but he was looking straight ahead at the zebras and giraffes.

“Zebras are striped, and giraffe’s necks are long, but I have to go, or the pandas might be gone.”

Daddy put What the Pup on his back and reached for Mommy’s hand. The team strolled straight down the path toward the chimpanzee and orangutan habitats.

“Orangutans are loud, but chimpanzees are louder, when I find those pandas, I could not be prouder.”


At the end of the day, What the Pup said, “Oh man, when are we gonna see The Pandas?” But Mommy grabbed What the Pup’s hand, and they walked to the parking lot as the rain began to swell. The family team walked across the parking lot to the World Zoo Hotel, where they checked in to their room at The World Zoo’s resort.

What the Pup got in bed, and after Mommy and Daddy kissed him goodnight, he quickly fell asleep in the hotel bed. He was tired from all that walking.

Soon What the Pup woke up, not in his bed at all, but on the bench in The World Zoo. Mommy’s big blue backpack underneath his head like a pillow, he sat up and looked around. There was nobody at The World Zoo.

Suddenly, Mommy’s big blue backpack began to unzip, a little, then halfway, then all the way, and out popped a giant stuffed panda bear, far too big to ever fit in any bag, not to mention Mommy’s big blue backpack.

The panda took What the Pup’s hand and nodded as if he wanted What the Pup to follow him. They walked down the straight path until What the Pup began to hear the unmistakable sound of…monkeys. Oooh ooh, aaah aah.

Chuck was the loudest chimpanzee, third or fourth. “Pandas,” he said, “are found in the north.”

Ellie, the elephant, was sure she knew best. “Pandas,” she said, “are located west.”

Joey giraffe was quiet at least, but she knew the pandas were, “well, in the east.”

Penny, the penguin, had fish in her mouth, but, “All of those pandas are just to the south.”

Suddenly, What the Pup awoke to the morning sounds of The World Zoo, but he wasn’t in The World Zoo anymore, he was wrapped up snug in his hotel sheets and blankets. The zoo was waking up across the parking lot from the hotel.

It was all a colorful dream. He’d seen the animals one at a time. Each gave him a clue to the whereabouts of the pandas. What the Pup wasn’t sure what it all meant, but he felt confident today was his today to find a panda.

He crawled out of the hotel bed next to Mommy and Daddy’s bed and happily hugged his mommy awake. He ran over to Daddy’s side of the bed and smacked Daddy on the belly, startling Daddy awake.

They skipped breakfast to cross the street straight to The World Zoo.


Now, it was time to find the pandas. Mommy, Daddy, and What the Pup walked down the straight path, past aardvarks and elephants, past penguins and flamingos, past chimpanzees and orangutans, and past zebras and giraffes.

What the Pup was tired of walking. Defeated, he looked down and strolled in no particular direction at all. That’s when he realized it.

The path felt straight, but actually, it curved quite a bit into a round, grand circle. The Flamingos and Penguins were in the North. The Elephants and Anteaters were in the East. The Chimpanzees and Orangutans were in the South, and The Giraffes and Zebras were in the West. What the Pup began to wonder if all the animals and zookeepers had been right the whole time. Were The Pandas right in the very middle of The World Zoo?

What the Pup noticed a black and white path that veered off the way he used to think was perfectly straight. He used his hands to signal Mommy and Daddy to follow close behind. It felt like the wrong direction, the opposite of the path he’d followed the day before, but something was guiding him – his nose and the smell of…bamboo.

The pandas love to chew on the fresh and green bamboo.

What the Pup ran past the numerous panda signs to the panda habitat.

What the Pup made up a panda dance there on the spot, entertaining the passive pandas, and especially Mommy and Daddy, who recorded What the Pup’s impromptu dance to post on The World Zoo’s social media website.

What the Pup danced and ran back and forth to see all the giant pandas lounging in the trees and on unique habitat platforms The World Zookeepers built for them.

What the Pup had realized the loud chimpanzees and the quiet giraffes, the busy penguins, and the careful elephants all had equally essential clues that would eventually guide What the Pup to the giant pandas.

What the Pup told Mommy and Daddy he had dreamt he would find the giant pandas, and his dream had come true. Mommy unzipped her big blue backpack and pulled out a stuffed plush baby panda. She handed it to What the Pup and said, “Thank you for being our little zookeeper! I believe this little panda belongs to you.”

What the Pup hugged the baby panda as long and as hard as he wished he could embrace the giant pandas, who were undoubtedly off-limits in their trees and platforms. He posed with his baby panda and the giant pandas off in the distance for a photo he could take back to school when Kindergarten started in the fall.

What the Pup caught his breath and nodded to agree to head for The World Zoo’s exit. After all, Mommy, Daddy, and What the Pup had a long ride home, and What the Pup had a new friend. A friend he’d met in his dreams.

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An Aggie walks into a bar with a lightbulb…

An Aggie walks into a bar with a lightbulb and tells the bartender to make him a very strong drink. He then walks over to a lamp with the drink and places the lightbulb in a lamp, proceeding to down the strong beverage. “Stop! No! Don’t, please!” says the bartender.

A dad enjoying a drink at the bar watches the event and asks the bartender why he abruptly stopped the Aggie from drinking the concoction. “If that Aggie drinks enough, and the room starts to spin, everything we know about Aggies and lightbulbs could change forever.”

by Rich Williams

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My Favorite Dad Joke – The Million Ducks

A dad walks into a bar with a miniature piano and pulls out a tiny man. He sits the man down at the keyboard, and the man begins playing the most beautiful music. A passerby asks, “Sir, where did you get this amazing little musician?”

The dad replies that a genie in the alley is granting wishes, and the passerby immediately runs to the alley to find the genie. He returns yelling and flustered, followed by more ducks than the dad or bartender has ever seen. The passerby says, “I think your genie is deaf, I asked him for a million bucks and he gave me a million ducks.”

The dad glances down at the tiny man making the beautiful music and says, “Do you really think I asked him for a twelve-inch pianist?”

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Criticism as Inspiration by David Bazan of Pedro the Lion

[Intro: Simple guitar riff, the bass comes in after one round on root with quarter notes]

I saw in the bedroom, the drawers had been emptied, looking for answers, but you won’t admit it now.

You don’t need a reason, that’s what you tell me, but I still don’t buy it, you drink yourself silly. Night after night.

It makes me feel so good to always tell you when you’re wrong. The big man that I am to always have to put you down. Put you down.

Then there’s your girlfriend, she opens her legs and gives your life meaning. Is that what you love her for?

The angel’s always looking down. He’s perfect with a frown. The bully always wins.

It makes me feel so good to always tell you when you’re wrong. The big man that I am to always have to put you down. Put you down.

[Sickest guitar solo in the history of indie sadcore…]

It makes me feel so good to always tell you when you’re wrong. The big man that I am to always have to put you down. It makes me look so good to always put you in your place. I can write it in a song, but never say it to your face. To your face.

 

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Beeline Baby by Charlie

I’m on a tight rope to the middle of nowhere, I’m making a beeline to LA.

Cause I’m a big, bad baby, a big, bad baby, a big, bad baby. I’m making a beeline.

I’m gonna take my new red car to the red tire store and buy myself some bright red tires.

— Charlie

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The Race To Nowhere

The tortoise had purpose

And the hare was there

Running in races

From here to nowhere

But I am a sly fox

And I’ll see you there

Timing the paces from here to nowhere

The tortoise named Horace

A rabbit named Fred

I’m a fox named Jeffrey

Let’s put this to bed

The turtle determined

The rabbit had speed

But I have what they want

I’ve got what you need

The race started early

The tortoise the hare

I entered a bit late

The race to nowhere

One sped by me

Confident he’d already won

The other had pace like

A six shooter gun

But victorys sweet when you haven’t a care

A fox smiling thinking from here to nowhere

The race started early

The tortoise the hare

I entered a bit late

The race to nowhere

The bunny was funny we took time for beers

He wiggles his wet nose and perked up his ears

The tortoise inched by me and I didn’t win

I may not be first place but I’m his best friend

The race started early

The tortoise the hare

I entered a bit late

The race to nowhere

See Nowheres too futile

Racing everyday

With sore joints and backbones

Too old to make hay

But friends are blue ribbons

To this sly old fox

I’ll take to the backyard

In my brown cardboard box

5 July 2017

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Gamification in the ticketing industry and missing Celine Dion

Gamification examples: Fun picture CAPCHAs, waiting in line watching people movement, secret 6-digit codes, adding 1–2 seats at a time instead of a whole row, adding rows that aren’t on the seating chart, not allowing sort by price, best seat or value, changing sale price on resale tickets, not knowing which ticket you will get if you pick from a row, requiring two seats next to each other to have two separate purchases, tickets becoming sold to another “fan” two or three levels into the buying process, showing available seats when those tickets were sold several minutes ago, and so on. Sound like blackjack? Sound like pulling a lever on a slot machine? Sound like rolling the dice. It’s gambling addiction 101, the worst form of gamification.

The GREAT @RollingStones and @Ticketmaster SHAM of 2020! Watch me lose #rollingstones PIT TICKETS and FRONT ROW seats right out of my cart with no explanation. Then return to show still available seats. Read more about @TMFanSupport here.

I have proof Ticketmaster is using game theory to fraudulently optimize sales. I’ve detected gamification in verified resale and standard admission ticketing.

During attempts to purchase tickets, this screen games the user into a false sense of demand, even when waiting in line behind one other “fan.”

Tickets in Section 14 retail new as standard admission tickets around $305. These seats suddenly appear for $104.

The next tier of seats are selling new/retail for $220, so I hop on the opportunity to take my wife instead of going solo.

Tickets on rows K, L, and M sell new for $310. All floor seats behind them also sell for $310 new. Notice, the seating chart does not show rows N and O, but the tickets are being offered as new standard admission.

I buy section 14, row N tickets, not realizing they do not exist.

I’m asked to enter my phone number one of probably a dozen times to game my belief that this purchase is urgent and I have been verified as a non-fraudulent purchaser.

The row in front of mine is still at $310. (Behind as well.)

Seats in section eleven. The front and center section are showing now at $130. When I try to acquire them, it states I’m too late. Section eleven tickets are reselling in excess of $500–1500.

Wife can’t go. Totally forgot her birthday dinner tonight. Change of plans. I’m selling my Section 14 seats for $249. They will be the cheapest pair of floor seats available for the show for the next two hours.

Just confirming sections 14 and 15 still Standard Admission front to back for $310. My resell pair shouldn’t last long and the birthday dinner will rock.

6:48 – My solo aisle ticket from before I found the cheap floor seats (the original plan was to go by myself) sell for double what I paid. I make about $75 and the show must be sold out? Right? I mean if someone is willing to pay $150 for a nosebleed seat?

5:41, my tickets are for sale, but not showing when my section is highlighted. They are $60 cheaper than standard admission. But they appear nowhere on the seating chart…

THING THAT ARE GOOD

  • Limiting scalpers
  • Matching show and person location with IP address
  • Supply and demand economics/pricing discourage scalpers and benefit artists.

THINGS THAT ARE BAD

  • Showing “price” at a fraction (50-70%) of the ticket price.
  • Showing seats as unavailable then opening them up if they need to.
  • Using gambling techniques to addict buyers, keep them on Ticketmaster’s app, and maximize quantity and profit.

OTHER EXPERIENCES

  • Staying on the site for hours as random high-quality seats pop up, then disappear when you attempt to purchase.
  • Other techniques designed to keep buyers off stub-hub where seats and fees may be cheaper and on Ticketmaster.
  • Showing random high-dollar seats as available, then stating another “fan” beat me to them. You beat someone in a race. Racing is a game.

Me trying to buy Bon Jovi tickets. I was on a plane, so even though my account is in good standing, I couldn’t respond with the 6-digit code. The seats I ended up with are awful.

IN CONCLUSION

I’m assembling a team of engineers who can further prove this misappropriation and enter official complaints with state and federal attorneys general. Please consider hearing me out before I take additional steps. I believe Ticketmaster is a good company who wants to do right that has become caught up in some unethical and illegal activities. These observations are from my perspective as a fan, a developer, an MBA, and an assistant vice president of a major financial institution. I just want a fair opportunity to buy tickets to shows I’m interested in, sell tickets if my plans change, and use aftermarket sites to find last-minute opportunities to attend events. I am a fan first, but the proof of dishonest gamification techniques to garner interest is undeniable. My next steps will be to begin approaching class action attorneys with my research.

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VIDEO SCREEN CAPS OF ALLEGED GAMIFICATION IN CELINE DION EXAMPLES

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John Vanderslice

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Watch The Java

I used to go down to the popsicle stand,

’til I found out it’d been blown

by a people from a foreign land.

I said, ”This is not my home.”

I used to go down to the coffee shop,

’til I watched the java burn.

It takes an hour to read the morning paper.

It takes a minute just to learn…

Who you are, is not a matter of finding yourself.

Who you are, is in who lives within you,

and who he is, is not a camera or a mirror.

Who he is, a forever friend.

I used to go to Tom S. Lubbock High,

and I stayed there ’til the end.

But I realized I was lonely

when I made my one-hundredth friend.

Who you are, is not a matter of finding yourself.

Who you are, is in who lives within you,

and who he is, is not a camera or a mirror.

Who he is, a forever friend.

What I was, was someone else.

Well, that don’t matter now.

Who he is, is in this book,

and he can show you…

Who you are, is not a matter of finding yourself.

Who you are, is in who lives within you,

and who he is, is not a camera or a mirror.

Who he is, a forever friend.

I used to go down to the church house,

but I never understood.

But he always understood me,

and he said that I am good.

I used to go down to the popsicle stand.