TonightGPT

User:
did you know about all the hollywood joke writers having to strike for fair wages?

ChatGPT:
As an AI language model, I do not have personal experiences or emotions, but I can provide information on the topic you mentioned.

If you are referring to the Writers Guild of America (WGA) strike that took place in 2007-2008, then yes, I am aware of it. During that time, the writers’ union went on strike over issues related to compensation for their work in TV and film, as well as new media such as streaming platforms. The writers sought a larger share of revenues from DVD and online sales and a higher residual payment for their work when it is reused on digital platforms.

The strike lasted for 100 days and had a significant impact on the entertainment industry, causing several TV shows to be canceled or delayed and resulting in a drop in ratings for some networks. Ultimately, the WGA reached a settlement with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers, which included some of the writers’ demands, although not all.

It is important to note that there have been several labor disputes and strikes in the entertainment industry over the years, as writers, actors, and other creatives have sought fair compensation and better working conditions for their contributions to the industry.

User:
thanks, so WGA is striking again in 2023

ChatGPT:
As an AI language model, I do not have access to up-to-date news or information beyond my knowledge cutoff date, which is September 2021. Therefore, I cannot confirm whether the Writers Guild of America (WGA) is currently striking in 2023 or not.

However, it is not uncommon for labor disputes to arise in the entertainment industry, and writers and other creative professionals have been known to strike in the past in order to seek better working conditions and fair compensation for their work. If there is a strike occurring or planned in the future, it would likely be reported in the news media.

User:
Cool, so since no one is writing for Jimmy Fallon, I thought we could make a monologue for him? I will tell you a joke premise so you can write the jokes?

ChatGPT:
Sure, I can certainly help you come up with some jokes based on your premise. Please feel free to share your ideas, and I’ll do my best to assist you in writing some monologue jokes for Jimmy Fallon.

User:
okay, first premise is that the Super Mario Brothers movie is number one at the box office.

ChatGPT:
Great, here are some monologue jokes based on that premise:

“The Super Mario Brothers movie is number one at the box office, proving that if you wait long enough, even the worst ideas can become a success. You know what that means, folks? It’s time to dust off those old Pogs and Beanie Babies, because they’re probably worth a fortune now!”
“I can’t believe it, the Super Mario Brothers movie is actually number one at the box office. And you thought the biggest plumber-related news this year would be a shortage of toilet paper!”
“Did you hear that the Super Mario Brothers movie is number one at the box office? It’s so successful, they’re already planning a sequel. In the next one, Mario and Luigi are tasked with rescuing Princess Peach from a group of angry Karens who refuse to wear masks!”
“I never thought I’d see the day when the Super Mario Brothers movie would be a box office hit. I mean, the last time I saw something that ridiculous succeed was when I accidentally called a Crunchwrap Supreme a ‘healthy meal’ on my fitness app!”
“The Super Mario Brothers movie is number one at the box office, proving that you can’t keep a good plumber down. It’s just too bad that Mario’s arch-nemesis, Wario, wasn’t available for the film because he’s too busy running his successful crypto-mining operation!”

User:
Wow. Amazing, thank you. Okay this one is about the Met Gala. It’s famous because people wear strange fashion and this one was honoring famous designer, Karl Lagerfield.

ChatGPT:
Sure, here are some monologue jokes based on that premise:

“The Met Gala was last night and, as usual, the fashion was wilder than a Kardashian-Jenner family reunion. This year’s theme was in honor of the late fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld. I’m not sure what Lagerfeld would have thought of some of the outfits, but I’m pretty sure he’s rolling over in his Birkin bag right now.”
“The Met Gala was last night and the celebrities were dressed to impress… impress their plastic surgeons, that is. The theme was Karl Lagerfeld, and I have to say, I saw some outfits that made me feel like I was hallucinating after eating a bad croissant at a Parisian café.”
“The Met Gala took place last night and the stars really went all out with their outfits. The theme was Karl Lagerfeld, which makes sense because some of those outfits were so over the top, they looked like they were designed by a cat who walked across a keyboard.”
“I’m not sure what Karl Lagerfeld would have thought of the outfits at the Met Gala last night, but I’m pretty sure he would have loved the fact that everyone was talking about him. Even Kim Kardashian wore a dress that covered her entire body. I guess when you’re that famous, the only way to get attention is to become invisible.”
“The Met Gala was last night and I have to say, some of those outfits were so weird, they made Lady Gaga look like a Wall Street banker. The theme was Karl Lagerfeld, and I have to wonder, if he were alive today, would he have designed a line of outfits made entirely out of cat fur?”

User:
Amazing jokes, thank you. These next ones should center around how President Biden seems awfully old to run for re-election.

ChatGPT:
Alright, here are some monologue jokes based on that premise:

“It’s looking more and more likely that President Biden will run for re-election in 2024, and I have to say, he’s starting to make Bernie Sanders look like a spring chicken. I mean, if Joe Biden gets any older, his Secret Service code name is going to be ‘Methuselah.'”
“President Biden is reportedly considering a run for re-election in 2024, and I have to say, I’m not sure how he’ll manage to campaign from his rocking chair. I heard his campaign slogan is going to be ‘Make America Great Again… in 1952.'”
“It’s no secret that President Biden is no spring chicken, and I’m starting to wonder if his campaign rallies are going to be held at bingo halls and early bird specials. I mean, I know he’s got experience, but at this point, he’s got more wrinkles than a Shar-Pei puppy.”
“President Biden may be considering a run for re-election, but I have to wonder, is he planning on running a marathon or running for office? I mean, I know he’s in good shape for his age, but his age is ‘Jurassic.'”
“I heard that President Biden is considering a run for re-election in 2024, and I have to say, it’s not so much a campaign as it is a game of ‘Survivor: The White House.’ I mean, the only way he’s going to make it to the end is if he’s immune to every challenge!”

User:
Phenomoenal, thank you. The next premise is that China may be spying on the united states using balloon technology, where giant balloons the size of school buses carry hi-tech listening equipment to monitor data and radio signals

ChatGPT:
Sure, here are some monologue jokes based on that premise:

“I don’t know if you heard this, but apparently China may be spying on the United States using giant balloons. I mean, I knew balloons were big at children’s parties, but I didn’t realize they were also the preferred method of espionage for a major world power.”
“I heard that China may be spying on the United States using balloons the size of school buses. I mean, I’m no expert on espionage, but I’m pretty sure the only way to keep that kind of secret is to not have it floating around in the sky like a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon.”
“It turns out that China may be using giant balloons to spy on the United States, which is pretty concerning. I mean, if they can spy on us from the sky, what’s next? Are they going to start using drones disguised as birthday cakes to eavesdrop on our conversations?”
“I don’t want to alarm anyone, but apparently China is using balloon technology to spy on the United States. I mean, if they’re using balloons, what’s next? Are they going to start using kites to steal our trade secrets? Or maybe they’ll just use a flock of seagulls to hack our wifi?”
“It’s being reported that China may be using giant balloons to spy on the United States. I mean, it’s like a real-life version of the movie ‘Up,’ but instead of balloons lifting a house into the sky, they’re lifting high-tech surveillance equipment. I guess the lesson here is, never underestimate the power of helium.”

User:
great job, the next joke is about airlines and how they aren’t on time and the cancellations are a mess

ChatGPT:
Sure, here are some monologue jokes based on that premise:

“I don’t know if you’ve flown recently, but it seems like airlines are having some trouble with being on time. I mean, if you want to get somewhere fast, you’re better off just strapping on a pair of roller skates and calling it a day.”
“Airlines have been having a tough time lately, what with all the delays and cancellations. It’s like they took a page out of the DMV’s playbook and decided to make travel just as fun and exciting as waiting in line for a driver’s license.”
“I heard that airlines are having some major problems with cancellations and delays, and I have to say, it’s starting to feel like we’re living in a ‘Groundhog Day’ sequel, but instead of reliving the same day over and over again, we’re just stuck in the airport waiting for our flight to finally take off.”
“If you’ve flown recently, you know that airlines are having some major issues with keeping to their schedules. I mean, it’s like they think the term ‘jet lag’ is a suggestion, not a warning.”
“Airlines are really struggling these days, what with all the cancellations and delays. I mean, I’ve seen snails move faster than some of these flights. If you’re in a hurry to get somewhere, you’re better off just buying a trampoline and bouncing your way there.”

User:
nicely done – any global warming jokes?
ChatGPT:
Sure, here are some monologue jokes based on the premise of global warming:

“Global warming is getting so bad, even the polar bears are putting on sunscreen. It’s like Mother Nature is trying to tell us, ‘Hey, humans, maybe it’s time to turn down the heat a little bit.'”
“I read a report that says the Earth’s temperature is rising faster than ever before. I mean, I guess that’s one way to get a ‘hot girl summer,’ but at what cost?”
“Global warming is a serious issue, but I have to say, I’m starting to appreciate the irony of it all. We spend all this time trying to keep our planet warm, only to realize that we might be cooking ourselves in the process.”
“I heard that global warming is causing more extreme weather events, like hurricanes, tornadoes, and heatwaves. I mean, I know we’re supposed to be the most advanced species on the planet, but it feels like we’re just playing a really dangerous game of weather roulette.”
“The effects of global warming are becoming more and more evident every day. I mean, it used to be that the only thing we had to worry about melting was our ice cream, but now it’s our glaciers.”

User:
well done, last joke is about a canadian iceberg that is shaped like male genitalia, it’s a little blue

ChatGPT:
Okay, here are some monologue jokes based on the premise of a Canadian iceberg shaped like male genitalia:

“I don’t know if you guys heard, but there’s an iceberg off the coast of Canada that’s shaped like, well, you know. I guess it’s true what they say, Canada really does have some ‘big’ natural wonders.”
“The people of Canada are buzzing about an iceberg that’s shaped like male genitalia. I mean, if there’s one thing that can bring a nation together, it’s a giant blue dong.”
“I heard that some tourists were trying to take pictures of the Canadian iceberg shaped like male genitalia, but they had trouble getting the right angle. I mean, I guess they’ll just have to settle for a ‘chilly’ memory instead.”
“Canada is known for its beautiful landscapes and natural wonders, but I don’t think anyone was expecting an iceberg shaped like male genitalia. I guess it just goes to show that even nature has a sense of humor.”
“I don’t know if you guys have seen the Canadian iceberg that’s shaped like male genitalia, but let me tell you, it’s quite a sight. I mean, if Leonardo DiCaprio had seen this in ‘Titanic,’ I think he would have reconsidered his decision to freeze to death.”

User:
awesome – now who are 3 guests we could introduce?
ChatGPT:
Sure, here are three potential guests that could be introduced on the show:

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson: As one of the biggest stars in Hollywood, Dwayne Johnson could make for an exciting guest on the show. He could talk about his latest projects, share some behind-the-scenes stories, and maybe even show off his impressive muscles.
Adele: With her incredible voice and down-to-earth personality, Adele would be a great guest to have on the show. She could perform some of her hit songs, talk about her life and career, and maybe even participate in a few fun segments.
Elon Musk: Love him or hate him, there’s no denying that Elon Musk is one of the most fascinating people in the world right now. As the founder of SpaceX and Tesla, he could share some insights on the future of technology and space exploration, and maybe even show off some cool gadgets.