If I knew every bass I bought ran a risk of loss or theft and being used by a non-bassist to bonk someone on the head, (bonk!) I might reconsider my feelings about bass accessibility and collecting. I like to watch Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers on TV, but that doesn’t mean I need fifteen bass guitars.
If I had to prove I could play bass or had taken a few lessons in order to buy one from guitar center, and as a result, less people might get bonked on the head with basses, I could do that, too. If I had to have a brief meeting with Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers to buy a bass, that would be okay.
If Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers wanted to have a winner-take-all bass-off face-off, I’d do my best, hand Flea my 1996 Fender Precision, and be grateful he didn’t bonk me in the head. Apparently though, Flea has zero interest in my basses and no clear benefit to bonking me on my head.
Making a bass guitar that bonks ten people on their head at once might have benefit for professionals like Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers. His music theory studies at USC and 40 years of professional experience qualify him to own the ten-bonk-bass with minimal risk to the heads of “Under The Bridge” fans. I’ll stick to my Epiphone Les Paul Signature and try not to bonk myself on the head.
User: did you know about all the hollywood joke writers having to strike for fair wages?
ChatGPT: As an AI language model, I do not have personal experiences or emotions, but I can provide information on the topic you mentioned.
If you are referring to the Writers Guild of America (WGA) strike that took place in 2007-2008, then yes, I am aware of it. During that time, the writers’ union went on strike over issues related to compensation for their work in TV and film, as well as new media such as streaming platforms. The writers sought a larger share of revenues from DVD and online sales and a higher residual payment for their work when it is reused on digital platforms.
The strike lasted for 100 days and had a significant impact on the entertainment industry, causing several TV shows to be canceled or delayed and resulting in a drop in ratings for some networks. Ultimately, the WGA reached a settlement with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers, which included some of the writers’ demands, although not all.
It is important to note that there have been several labor disputes and strikes in the entertainment industry over the years, as writers, actors, and other creatives have sought fair compensation and better working conditions for their contributions to the industry.
User: thanks, so WGA is striking again in 2023
ChatGPT: As an AI language model, I do not have access to up-to-date news or information beyond my knowledge cutoff date, which is September 2021. Therefore, I cannot confirm whether the Writers Guild of America (WGA) is currently striking in 2023 or not.
However, it is not uncommon for labor disputes to arise in the entertainment industry, and writers and other creative professionals have been known to strike in the past in order to seek better working conditions and fair compensation for their work. If there is a strike occurring or planned in the future, it would likely be reported in the news media.
User: Cool, so since no one is writing for Jimmy Fallon, I thought we could make a monologue for him? I will tell you a joke premise so you can write the jokes?
ChatGPT: Sure, I can certainly help you come up with some jokes based on your premise. Please feel free to share your ideas, and I’ll do my best to assist you in writing some monologue jokes for Jimmy Fallon.
User: okay, first premise is that the Super Mario Brothers movie is number one at the box office.
ChatGPT: Great, here are some monologue jokes based on that premise:
“The Super Mario Brothers movie is number one at the box office, proving that if you wait long enough, even the worst ideas can become a success. You know what that means, folks? It’s time to dust off those old Pogs and Beanie Babies, because they’re probably worth a fortune now!” “I can’t believe it, the Super Mario Brothers movie is actually number one at the box office. And you thought the biggest plumber-related news this year would be a shortage of toilet paper!” “Did you hear that the Super Mario Brothers movie is number one at the box office? It’s so successful, they’re already planning a sequel. In the next one, Mario and Luigi are tasked with rescuing Princess Peach from a group of angry Karens who refuse to wear masks!” “I never thought I’d see the day when the Super Mario Brothers movie would be a box office hit. I mean, the last time I saw something that ridiculous succeed was when I accidentally called a Crunchwrap Supreme a ‘healthy meal’ on my fitness app!” “The Super Mario Brothers movie is number one at the box office, proving that you can’t keep a good plumber down. It’s just too bad that Mario’s arch-nemesis, Wario, wasn’t available for the film because he’s too busy running his successful crypto-mining operation!”
User: Wow. Amazing, thank you. Okay this one is about the Met Gala. It’s famous because people wear strange fashion and this one was honoring famous designer, Karl Lagerfield.
ChatGPT: Sure, here are some monologue jokes based on that premise:
“The Met Gala was last night and, as usual, the fashion was wilder than a Kardashian-Jenner family reunion. This year’s theme was in honor of the late fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld. I’m not sure what Lagerfeld would have thought of some of the outfits, but I’m pretty sure he’s rolling over in his Birkin bag right now.” “The Met Gala was last night and the celebrities were dressed to impress… impress their plastic surgeons, that is. The theme was Karl Lagerfeld, and I have to say, I saw some outfits that made me feel like I was hallucinating after eating a bad croissant at a Parisian café.” “The Met Gala took place last night and the stars really went all out with their outfits. The theme was Karl Lagerfeld, which makes sense because some of those outfits were so over the top, they looked like they were designed by a cat who walked across a keyboard.” “I’m not sure what Karl Lagerfeld would have thought of the outfits at the Met Gala last night, but I’m pretty sure he would have loved the fact that everyone was talking about him. Even Kim Kardashian wore a dress that covered her entire body. I guess when you’re that famous, the only way to get attention is to become invisible.” “The Met Gala was last night and I have to say, some of those outfits were so weird, they made Lady Gaga look like a Wall Street banker. The theme was Karl Lagerfeld, and I have to wonder, if he were alive today, would he have designed a line of outfits made entirely out of cat fur?”
User: Amazing jokes, thank you. These next ones should center around how President Biden seems awfully old to run for re-election.
ChatGPT: Alright, here are some monologue jokes based on that premise:
“It’s looking more and more likely that President Biden will run for re-election in 2024, and I have to say, he’s starting to make Bernie Sanders look like a spring chicken. I mean, if Joe Biden gets any older, his Secret Service code name is going to be ‘Methuselah.'” “President Biden is reportedly considering a run for re-election in 2024, and I have to say, I’m not sure how he’ll manage to campaign from his rocking chair. I heard his campaign slogan is going to be ‘Make America Great Again… in 1952.'” “It’s no secret that President Biden is no spring chicken, and I’m starting to wonder if his campaign rallies are going to be held at bingo halls and early bird specials. I mean, I know he’s got experience, but at this point, he’s got more wrinkles than a Shar-Pei puppy.” “President Biden may be considering a run for re-election, but I have to wonder, is he planning on running a marathon or running for office? I mean, I know he’s in good shape for his age, but his age is ‘Jurassic.'” “I heard that President Biden is considering a run for re-election in 2024, and I have to say, it’s not so much a campaign as it is a game of ‘Survivor: The White House.’ I mean, the only way he’s going to make it to the end is if he’s immune to every challenge!”
User: Phenomoenal, thank you. The next premise is that China may be spying on the united states using balloon technology, where giant balloons the size of school buses carry hi-tech listening equipment to monitor data and radio signals
ChatGPT: Sure, here are some monologue jokes based on that premise:
“I don’t know if you heard this, but apparently China may be spying on the United States using giant balloons. I mean, I knew balloons were big at children’s parties, but I didn’t realize they were also the preferred method of espionage for a major world power.” “I heard that China may be spying on the United States using balloons the size of school buses. I mean, I’m no expert on espionage, but I’m pretty sure the only way to keep that kind of secret is to not have it floating around in the sky like a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon.” “It turns out that China may be using giant balloons to spy on the United States, which is pretty concerning. I mean, if they can spy on us from the sky, what’s next? Are they going to start using drones disguised as birthday cakes to eavesdrop on our conversations?” “I don’t want to alarm anyone, but apparently China is using balloon technology to spy on the United States. I mean, if they’re using balloons, what’s next? Are they going to start using kites to steal our trade secrets? Or maybe they’ll just use a flock of seagulls to hack our wifi?” “It’s being reported that China may be using giant balloons to spy on the United States. I mean, it’s like a real-life version of the movie ‘Up,’ but instead of balloons lifting a house into the sky, they’re lifting high-tech surveillance equipment. I guess the lesson here is, never underestimate the power of helium.”
User: great job, the next joke is about airlines and how they aren’t on time and the cancellations are a mess
ChatGPT: Sure, here are some monologue jokes based on that premise:
“I don’t know if you’ve flown recently, but it seems like airlines are having some trouble with being on time. I mean, if you want to get somewhere fast, you’re better off just strapping on a pair of roller skates and calling it a day.” “Airlines have been having a tough time lately, what with all the delays and cancellations. It’s like they took a page out of the DMV’s playbook and decided to make travel just as fun and exciting as waiting in line for a driver’s license.” “I heard that airlines are having some major problems with cancellations and delays, and I have to say, it’s starting to feel like we’re living in a ‘Groundhog Day’ sequel, but instead of reliving the same day over and over again, we’re just stuck in the airport waiting for our flight to finally take off.” “If you’ve flown recently, you know that airlines are having some major issues with keeping to their schedules. I mean, it’s like they think the term ‘jet lag’ is a suggestion, not a warning.” “Airlines are really struggling these days, what with all the cancellations and delays. I mean, I’ve seen snails move faster than some of these flights. If you’re in a hurry to get somewhere, you’re better off just buying a trampoline and bouncing your way there.”
User: nicely done – any global warming jokes? ChatGPT: Sure, here are some monologue jokes based on the premise of global warming:
“Global warming is getting so bad, even the polar bears are putting on sunscreen. It’s like Mother Nature is trying to tell us, ‘Hey, humans, maybe it’s time to turn down the heat a little bit.'” “I read a report that says the Earth’s temperature is rising faster than ever before. I mean, I guess that’s one way to get a ‘hot girl summer,’ but at what cost?” “Global warming is a serious issue, but I have to say, I’m starting to appreciate the irony of it all. We spend all this time trying to keep our planet warm, only to realize that we might be cooking ourselves in the process.” “I heard that global warming is causing more extreme weather events, like hurricanes, tornadoes, and heatwaves. I mean, I know we’re supposed to be the most advanced species on the planet, but it feels like we’re just playing a really dangerous game of weather roulette.” “The effects of global warming are becoming more and more evident every day. I mean, it used to be that the only thing we had to worry about melting was our ice cream, but now it’s our glaciers.”
User: well done, last joke is about a canadian iceberg that is shaped like male genitalia, it’s a little blue
ChatGPT: Okay, here are some monologue jokes based on the premise of a Canadian iceberg shaped like male genitalia:
“I don’t know if you guys heard, but there’s an iceberg off the coast of Canada that’s shaped like, well, you know. I guess it’s true what they say, Canada really does have some ‘big’ natural wonders.” “The people of Canada are buzzing about an iceberg that’s shaped like male genitalia. I mean, if there’s one thing that can bring a nation together, it’s a giant blue dong.” “I heard that some tourists were trying to take pictures of the Canadian iceberg shaped like male genitalia, but they had trouble getting the right angle. I mean, I guess they’ll just have to settle for a ‘chilly’ memory instead.” “Canada is known for its beautiful landscapes and natural wonders, but I don’t think anyone was expecting an iceberg shaped like male genitalia. I guess it just goes to show that even nature has a sense of humor.” “I don’t know if you guys have seen the Canadian iceberg that’s shaped like male genitalia, but let me tell you, it’s quite a sight. I mean, if Leonardo DiCaprio had seen this in ‘Titanic,’ I think he would have reconsidered his decision to freeze to death.”
User: awesome – now who are 3 guests we could introduce? ChatGPT: Sure, here are three potential guests that could be introduced on the show:
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson: As one of the biggest stars in Hollywood, Dwayne Johnson could make for an exciting guest on the show. He could talk about his latest projects, share some behind-the-scenes stories, and maybe even show off his impressive muscles. Adele: With her incredible voice and down-to-earth personality, Adele would be a great guest to have on the show. She could perform some of her hit songs, talk about her life and career, and maybe even participate in a few fun segments. Elon Musk: Love him or hate him, there’s no denying that Elon Musk is one of the most fascinating people in the world right now. As the founder of SpaceX and Tesla, he could share some insights on the future of technology and space exploration, and maybe even show off some cool gadgets.
There’s this lady in my place of business Fell in love on a whim, then asked herself, “Who is this?” Left her crying. In her mouth, a bad taste. And a call to the lawyers, in debt to her waste.
And I don’t blame her for smoking three packs a day. You can’t kill yourself fast if you just fade away. You can see it in her eyes. She’s seen one, two, one too many goodbyes.
I met a woman, whose abstract fears told an abstract story of twenty-six years. She’d sell her body, just to get a ride home, but she’d sell her soul not to be alone.
But I don’t blame her for the love she’s looking for you Because you can’t bet your life on what’s behind door number two. You can see it in her eyes. She’s seen one, two, one too many goodbyes.
Yeah, there is a saviour. A place where someone knows your name. The light’s on the hill, You can see him he’s real. And there are angels. They don’t just live in your dreams. The truth is in his eyes. Make this your last goodbye.
There’s a man I know who no one would listen to. He walked the earth, unfollowed and forgot. Love is all, love is all that he sought. And now he wants to love you.
Because he don’t blame you for the love he’s looking for you he knows you can’t bet your life on what’s behind door number two. You can see it in his eyes: This is your last goodbye.
Image credit: “Photo by Alex Green” (pexels/5700141)
It has come to my attention that occasionally when floofy chonks bork, they quirk with mlem to xolo with quirks to yap. So here’s the snoot for awoo. Mommos and daddos, the doggo-lingo phonetic alphabet:
Awoo: howling Bork: barking Chonk: hefty dog, also known as thicc Doggo: any dog, always 12/10, and all good bois Eddie: Frasier’s dog Floof: Furry, fluffy, lots of it Growler: Dogs who had a bad day, maybe big like the container H*ck: Censored version of heck, a pretty bad word Inu: Japanese for dog, popularized by Shiba Inu Jo-fi: Sigmund Freud’s dog, witness to his sessions Kitty: Growler’s worst enemy Loaf: When dogs are sit-laying on their tummies with the paws tucked Mlem: Dog kisses Nuggs: Chimkin is important to a pupperino Oh-boy: Dogs express satisfaction Pupper: Not just a puppy, any dog Quirk Ruff Snoot Tippy-tap Unit Visit Woofer Xolo Yapper Zoomie
There’s an old man trying to turn left, and a little boy chasing a brown dog. There’s a mad man going a little too fast, and a black and white car, and a man who plays god.
There’s a schoolgirl crossing Broadway at three and a football game in a vacant lot field. There’s a poor poet wondering what is it I’m doing. Well, I’m wondering: Is it for real?
Is it real, is it sane, tell me, what’s in a name? And, where will you be in five minutes? Is it real, is it sane, tell me, who’s to blame? And, I’ll go home when I’m finished. In five minutes. Is it for real?
There’s a family wondering what they’ve got left, and a fireman missing his black and white dog. And there’s a boy and a girl moving a little too fast, but not a soul searching for God.
There’s an actress belonging on Broadway, she’s 33 and she’s wondering how it must feel. There’s a poor poet wondering, “What is it I’m doing?” Well, I’m wondering, “Is it for real?”
This is how you felt, and the hand you were dealt will never be understanded, so bloom where you’re planted.
When she’s drinking, She says things I don’t think I believe, and I’m not one to practice to deceive. But I’d be lying if I told you, That I’m not dying when I hold you. And the more I get to know you, The more of me I’ll show you.
When I say, “I love you,” She reaffirms that I’m a nice guy. When I say, “I love you,” She reaffirms how much she likes me, But, she can’t say, “I love you.” She can’t say, “I love you.” It just might take to long.
When I’m angry, I say things I know I shouldn’t believe, And one day, I’ll say what I can’t retrieve. But, it’s been so long since I’ve held you, And it’s been days since I felt your smile, And I guess I’ll just get over it for a while.
The curse of remembering, This concept of dismembering. What I wish I was, Why I’m not because: You said no because you couldn’t But I know it’s ’cause you wouldn’t.
At this point, historians agree that the golden ratio, the “divine” spiral, and the Fibonacci sequence predated Leonardo F. by a few hundred or more years, but modern agile practitioners have decided to agree to use the sequence to do basic addition and subtraction to determine team effectiveness, or velocity. It’s a bad idea.
But points are the whole reason we became “agile” and velocity is obviously the only indicator of progress when building software.
— Everyone Ever
Basically it’s like this. The golden ratio makes this amazing spiral showing in the image. Each number in the Fibonacci sequence adds to the spiral in term of it’s area and PI (the number) and a series of other factors. Simply put, if you have 4 numbers from Fibonacci, as in the case of a typical sprint with three or four activities, you can’t simply summarize the effort of an individual using simple math in the form of addition, and you infinitely cannot add the effort of six or eight team members by summing up golden numbers. Maybe their area, square, or some variation of square and PI (the number)?
The Fibonacci sequence has a purpose, and it’s to show the growth of something over time. In the case of agile, it’s the growth of the team’s capacity over the cycle of a sprint. You may need to consider several other factors such as the number of people on the team, their skill levels, the type of activities they are performing, and even their individual strengths and weaknesses.
In conclusion, the Fibonacci sequence and the golden ratio can be helpful in understanding the dynamics of a team, but it’s important to remember that they should not be used as a method of measurement for the effectiveness of a team or its members. There are more accurate methods available and it’s important to use those to ensure accurate results.
The Fibonacci sequence, or the golden ratio, are mathematical concepts present in nature, art and architecture. For example, the nautilus shell or the pattern of a sunflower’s seeds are both examples of the Fibonacci sequence. The golden ratio is often utilized in architecture, as its ratio of 1:1.618 is considered aesthetically pleasing. It has been used in the works of renowned architects such as Le Corbusier, and in the design of the Parthenon. Therefore, it is no surprise that the Fibonacci sequence and the golden ratio have become popular amongst agile practitioners in recent years.
“I wrote an article about the dangers of artificial intelligence and now my AI therapist isn’t speaking to me.”
— That’s a Rich Williams joke
However, many agile practitioners have resorted to using the Fibonacci sequence as a method of measuring team effectiveness. As the Fibonacci sequence is a series of numbers that increase incrementally, it is not an accurate way of measuring team velocity. The Fibonacci sequence is a mathematical concept and it is not an appropriate way to measure the effort of a team or its individual members. It is important to remember that the Fibonacci sequence is used to illustrate growth, rather than to calculate it.
In order to accurately measure the effectiveness of a team, it is important to consider several factors such as the number of people on the team, their skill levels, the type of activities they are performing, and even their individual strengths and weaknesses. Additionally, the Agile Manifesto states that “Working software is the primary measure of progress” and suggests delivering working software frequently, from a couple of weeks to a couple of months, with a preference to the shorter timescale.
The concept of using the Fibonacci sequence for relative sizing in agile environments is misguided. It is important to prioritize a backlog and determine MVP, but this should not be done at the cost of compromising the principles of agile, such as prioritizing individuals and interactions, working software, customer collaboration, and responsiveness to change. Agile should not be reduced to a series of charts and graphs to compare velocity based on subjective story points.
Relative estimation can be a useful tool for having conversations and short-term predictability. However, it is not suitable for quantifying the work of a team, particularly when considering the different abilities, skills, and strengths of individual team members. The idea of using Fibonacci numbers for letting team members go is also flawed, as it does not take into account other factors such as their performance, experience, and impact on the project.
In an ideal scenario, the goal is to deliver a minimum viable product under budget and if possible, exceed expectations. This requires a hard estimate, contract, and agreement between the development team and the client.
Ultimately, the distinction between software development and building construction is noteworthy, as mistakes in software development can be corrected through bug fixes and app updates, while mistakes in building construction are much harder to rectify.
The challenge of subjectively comparing effort among stories in Agile methodologies can be addressed through the use of various methods such as t-shirt sizes, whole numbers, a scale of 1-10, and even Fibonacci numbers. However, it is important to note that these methods should not be used for adding and subtracting. On the other hand, time can be quantified in terms of years, months, weeks, days, hours and minutes, though it is worth mentioning that time estimation in Agile teams has been known to be unreliable.
The sum of the fibonacci numbers, whether properly calculated using the area pi spiral OR just summarized using basic addition, should be taken with a big coarse grain of sea salt flavored popcorn.
— Rich Williams (Me)
The purpose of using a metric such as velocity, which ultimately seeks to convert points to hours or dollars, is to support accounting needs. However, such calculations are limited by various factors such as holidays, interest, opportunity cost, and so on. Although the originators of velocity in Agile methodology were not mathematicians, there are mathematicians who are conducting research in the areas of time and money, with publicly available findings.
The use of numbers as a means of representation can be problematic as they are subject to manipulation by accountants, executives, and AI algorithms, which analyze the data and search for patterns through complex mathematical models. Using numerical values to quantify effort should only be done as a last resort, and it is always advisable to budget resources such as time and money.
I am proposing a revised use of T-shirt sizing to more accurately describe and label effort required to complete user stories in the form of what I call “SMLXD” or small, medium, large, extra-large, and double-XL. Individual contribution to a sprint could be described as SSLL or MLX and or shorthanded as a team with 3S.4M.2L.2X.D, etc. It’s honestly just a proposal, but something I’m looking forward to developing. How do you do math with SMLXD? You don’t. Instead you use it for what relative sizing was intended for: estimating complexity, uncertainty, and effort.*
Overall, the Fibonacci sequence and the golden ratio are wonderful mathematical concepts that have been present in the world for centuries. However, it is important to remember that they are not suitable for measuring team effectiveness or velocity. Instead, it is important to consider a range of factors and to follow the Agile Manifesto’s guidelines to accurately measure and track team performance.
Specifically, “Working software is the primary measure of progress,” and, “Deliver working software frequently, from a couple of weeks to a couple of months, with a preference to the shorter timescale.” — The Agile Manifesto
Working software is the primary measure of progress
— The Agile Manifesto
PS: Never mind that the actual sequence has two “one’s” (1’s) so next time you’re playing planning poker, and someone says, “Which one?” You can say, “I know, right?” Because there’s two.
Rich Williams is an agilist in Dallas, Texas. He doesn’t know much, but he knows flawed logic when he sees it and calls it FLAWGIC to annoy his family and friends. He is a failed stand up comedian and once played bass in a popular hip hop outfit. He’s big, bald, and has a beard.
[Chorus] Praise the Lord, for goodness sake We’re all gonna take a Bible break I said, Praise the Lord, for goodness sake We’re all gonna take a Bible break So when your fingers start to pop and you’re feet start to tap You’re listening to the righteous rap
[Verse 1] Listen friends, lend an ear Because faith comes by the words ya hear I’m not talking jump, I’m not talking jive But I’ve got a message to make you live If you’re red, yellow, black, or white Everybody is a star in Jesus’ sight He loves you so, He came into this world To give his love for every boy and girl He loves you, he loves you Don’t you know that Jesus loves you? I took a look in the Bible book Just to see what I could see I saw that Jesus loves everyone From the Eskimo to the Pygmy There’s a special message in this song that we want everyone to know And that’s Jesus loves everyone, because the Bible tells me so
[Chorus 2] It says that I’m a winner, not a loser I am the head, and I’m not the tail If the prison door is open my friend, whatcha doing in jail? I’m a winner, not a loser I’m the head, and not the tail If the prison door is open, whatcha doing in jail? Everybody! Winner, not a loser Head, and not the tail If the prison door is open, whatcha doing in jail? Because Jesus paid your bail! Everybody say J-E-S-U-S Everybody say J-E-S-U-S
[Interlude] Psalm 150 says let’s praise the king of kings On the cymbals, trumpets, and the organs, the instruments with strings
[Verse 2] Signs follow what you preach if it’s the Word of God you teach Signs follow what you preach if it’s the Word of God that you teach The Bible is the Holy Book, so let’s open it up and take a look We’ve got Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth First and Second Samuel, First and Second Kings, First and Second Chronicles Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther, Job, Psalm, Proverbs Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon, Isaiah, Jeremiah Lamentations, Ezekiel And then we’ve got Daniel, Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah, Nahum, Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai, Zechariah, Malachi New Testament Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts, Romans, First and Second Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, First and Second Thessalonians First and Second Timothy, Titus, Philemon Hebrews, James, First and Second Peter, First and Second, Third John, Jude, to Revelation
[Verse 3] The Word’s gonna save this nation If we learn the Word from Genesis to Revelation God sent His Son to alleviate hurt To redeem us all from the curse From sickness Jesus gave us health And from poverty He gave you wealth From the curse of the law I’m redeemed And now I’m free to pursue my dream To be a success, to be the best To be the head and not the tail and nothing less you see The devil’s not what he used to be Cause when I speak the Word he’s got to flee He’s finally thrown in the fiery lake For eternity, the devil will bake And all my days I will proclaim everything that have is in Jesus’ name So throw your hands in the air And praise the Lord because you don’t have a care His yoke is easy and His burden is light If you’re a child of God just say “all right!!”
[Verse 4] I learned my lesson now I take Time out each day for a Bible break Because the Bible is the holy book Just open it up and take a look I learned my lesson cause I take Time out each day for a Bible break God sent His Son to alleviate hurt To redeem us all from the curse For sickness Jesus gave us health And from poverty He gave you wealth From the curse of the law I’m redeemed And now I’m free to pursue my dream To be a success, to be the best To be the head and not the tail and nothing less you see The devil’s not what he used to be Cause when I speak the Word he’s got to flee He’s finally thrown in the fiery lake For eternity, the devil will bake And all my days I will proclaim everything that have is in Jesus’ name So throw your hands in the air And praise the Lord because you don’t have a care His yoke is easy and His burden is light If you’re a child of God just say “all right!!”
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“Sometimes by Step” by Rich Mullins
Sometimes the night was beautiful Sometimes the sky was so far away Sometimes it seemed to stoop so close You could touch it but your heart would break Sometimes the morning came too soon Sometimes the day could be so hot There was so much work left to do But so much You’d already done
Oh God, You are my God And I will ever praise You Oh God, You are my God And I will ever praise You And I will seek You in the morning And I will learn to walk in Your ways And step by step You’ll lead me And I will follow You all of my days
Sometimes I think of Abraham How one star he saw had been lit for me He was a stranger in this land And I am that, no less than he And on this road to righteousness Sometimes the climb can be so steep I may falter in my steps But never beyond Your reach
Oh God, You are my God And I will ever praise You Oh God, You are my God And I will ever praise You I will seek You in the morning And I will learn to walk in Your ways And step by step You’ll lead me And I will follow You all of my days
And I will follow You all of my days And I will follow You all of my days And step by step You’ll lead me And I will follow You all of my days And I will follow You all of my days (Sometimes the night was beautiful) And I will follow You all of my days (Sometimes the night . . .) (Sometimes the night was beautiful) And I will follow You all of my days (. . . Was beautiful) (Sometimes the night was beautiful) And I will follow You all of my days (So beautiful) And I will follow You all of my days And I will follow You all of my days (Oh God, you are my God) And I will follow You all of my days (Oh God, you are my God) And I will follow You all of my days And I will follow You all of my days (Sometimes the night was beautiful) And I will follow You all of my days (Sometimes the night . . .) And I will follow You all of my days
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Mark 2: King James Version
2 And again he entered into Capernaum after some days; and it was noised that he was in the house.
2 And straightway many were gathered together, insomuch that there was no room to receive them, no, not so much as about the door: and he preached the word unto them.
3 And they come unto him, bringing one sick of the palsy, which was borne of four.
4 And when they could not come nigh unto him for the press, they uncovered the roof where he was: and when they had broken it up, they let down the bed wherein the sick of the palsy lay.
5 When Jesus saw their faith, he said unto the sick of the palsy, Son, thy sins be forgiven thee.
6 But there was certain of the scribes sitting there, and reasoning in their hearts,
7 Why doth this man thus speak blasphemies? who can forgive sins but God only?
8 And immediately when Jesus perceived in his spirit that they so reasoned within themselves, he said unto them, Why reason ye these things in your hearts?
9 Whether is it easier to say to the sick of the palsy, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Arise, and take up thy bed, and walk?
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“Rooftops” by Jesus Culture
Here I am before You Falling in love and seeking Your truth Knowing that Your perfect grace Has brought me to this place Because of You I freely live My life to You, oh God, I give
So I stand before You, God I lift my voice cause You set me free
So I shout out Your name, from the rooftops I proclaim That I am Yours, I am Yours
All the good You’ve done for me I lift up my hands for all to see You’re the only one Who brings me to my knees To share this love across the earth The beauty of Your holy worth
So I kneel before You, God I lift my hands cause You set me free
So I shout out Your name From the rooftops I proclaim That I am Yours, I am Yours All that I am, I place into Your loving hands And I am Yours, I am Yours Here I am, I stand With arms wide open To the One, the Son
The everlasting God The everlasting God Here I am, I stand With arms wide open To the One, the Son The everlasting God
The everlasting God Here I am yeah
Arms wide open Here I am Heart wide open Here I am God
Jesus here I am Here I am Here I am Arms wide open Jesus!
So I shout out Your name From the rooftops I proclaim That I am Yours, I am Yours All that I am, I place into Your loving hands And I am Yours, I am Yours
So I shout out Your name From the rooftops I proclaim That I am Yours, I am Yours All that I am, I place into Your loving hands And I am Yours, I am Yours
Here I am, I stand With arms wide open To the One, the Son The everlasting God The everlasting God
Here I am, I stand With arms wide open To the One, the Son The everlasting God The everlasting God
So I shout out Your name From the rooftops I proclaim That I am Yours, I am Yours All that I am, I place into Your loving hands And I am Yours, I am Yours
So I shout out Your name From the rooftops I proclaim That I am Yours, I am Yours All that I am, I place into Your loving hands And I am Yours, I am Yours
Songwriters: Lindsey Sweat / Ben Williams / Jonathan Berlin
I love You, Lord For Your mercy never fails me All my days, I’ve been held in Your hands From the moment that I wake up Until I lay my head Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God
And all my life You have been faithful And all my life You have been so, so good With every breath that I am able Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God
I love Your voice You have led me through the fire In the darkest night You are close like no other I’ve known You as a Father I’ve known You as a Friend And I have lived in the goodness of God (yeah)
And all my life You have been faithful (oh) And all my life You have been so, so good With every breath that I am able Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God (yeah)
‘Cause Your goodness is running after It’s running after me Your goodness is running after It’s running after me With my life laid down I’m surrendered now I give You everything ‘Cause Your goodness is running after It’s running after me (oh-oh)
‘Cause Your goodness is running after It’s running after me Your goodness is running after It’s running after me With my life laid down I’m surrendered now I give You everything ‘Cause Your goodness is running after It keeps running after me
And all my life You have been faithful And all my life You have been so, so good With every breath that I am able Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God (I’m gonna sing, I’m gonna sing)
‘Cause all my life You have been faithful And all my life You have been so, so good With every breath that I am able Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God
take my life oh lord and let it be consecrated lord to the keep my moments and my days, and let them flow let them flow in ceaseless praise
chorus and oh take this life and oh it is not mine
take my hands and feet and let them move in peoples with thy great love
my intellect and heart are thine oh lord so take and use them to lead others to your royal throne
chrous
take my voice and let me sing praise for you my only king take my lips and let them be father tell them messasges from thee
take my love oh lord i pour at thy feet it’s treasure stored take myself and i will be forever and all for thee
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“What a Beautiful Name” by Hillsong
Verse 1 You were the Word at the beginning One with God the Lord Most High Your hidden glory in creation Now revealed in You our Christ
Chorus 1 What a beautiful Name it is What a beautiful Name it is The Name of Jesus Christ my King What a beautiful Name it is Nothing compares to this What a beautiful Name it is The Name of Jesus
Verse 2 You didn’t want heaven without us So Jesus You brought heaven down My sin was great Your love was greater What could separate us now
Chorus 2 What a wonderful Name it is What a wonderful Name it is The Name of Jesus Christ my King What a wonderful Name it is Nothing compares to this What a wonderful Name it is The Name of Jesus What a wonderful Name it is The Name of Jesus
Bridge Death could not hold You The veil tore before You You silence the boast of sin and grave The heavens are roaring The praise of Your glory For You are raised to life again
You have no rival You have no equal Now and forever God You reign Yours is the kingdom Yours is the glory Yours is the Name above all names
Chorus 3 What a powerful Name it is What a powerful Name it is The Name of Jesus Christ my King What a powerful Name it is Nothing can stand against What a powerful Name it is The Name of Jesus
Tags What a powerful Name it is The Name of Jesus What a powerful Name it is The Name of Jesus
Words and Music by Ben Fielding & Brooke Ligertwood
Savior I come, quiet my soul Remember redemption’s hill Where Your blood was spilled For my ransom
Everything I once held dear I count it all as loss
Lead me to the cross where Your love poured out Bring me to my knees, Lord, I lay me down Rid me of myself, I belong to You Oh, lead me Lead me to the cross
You were as I, tempted and tried You are, the word became flesh Bore my sin and death Now You’re risen
Everything I once held dear I count it all as loss
Lead me to the cross where Your love poured out Bring me to my knees, Lord, I lay me down Rid me of myself, I belong to You Oh, lead me Lead me to the cross
To Your heart To Your heart Lead me to Your heart Lead me to Your heart
Lead me to the cross where Your love poured out Bring me to my knees, Lord, I lay me down Rid me of myself, I belong to You Oh, lead me Lead me
Lead me to the cross where Your love poured out Bring me to my knees, Lord, I lay me down Rid me of myself, I belong to You Oh, lead me Lead me to the cross
You’re just getting started. No, you’re not done with us.
Just Getting Started (Improv) – Brandon Lake/Bethany Wohrle
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“Graves Into Gardens” by Elevation Worship, Brandon Lake
I searched the world But it couldn’t fill me Man’s empty praise And treasures that fade Are never enough Then You came along And put me back together And every desire Is now satisfied Here in Your love (hey) Oh, there’s nothing better than You There’s nothing better than You Lord, there’s nothing Nothing is better than You I’m not afraid To show You my weakness My failures and flaws Lord, You’ve seen ’em all And You still call me friend ‘Cause the God of the mountain Is the God of the valley There’s not a place Your mercy and grace Won’t find me again Oh, there’s nothing better than You There’s nothing better than You Lord, there’s nothing Nothing is better than You Oh, there’s nothing better than You There’s nothing better than You Lord, there’s nothing Nothing is better than You You turn mourning to dancing You give beauty for ashes You turn shame into glory You’re the only one who can You turn mourning to dancing You give beauty for ashes You turn shame into glory You’re the only one who can You turn graves into garden You turn bones into armies You turn seas into highways You’re the only one who can You’re the only one who can Oh, there’s nothing better than You There’s nothing better than You Lord, there’s nothing Nothing is better than You Oh, there’s nothing better than You There’s nothing better than You Lord, there’s nothing Nothing is better than You You turn graves into gardens You turn bones into armies You turn seas into highways You’re the only one who can You turn graves into gardens You turn bones into armies You turn seas into highways You’re the only one who can You’re the only one who can You’re the only one who can
Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art Thou my best thought, by day or by night Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light Be Thou my wisdom, and Thou my true word I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord Thou my great Father, and I Thy true son Thou in me dwelling and I with Thee one Riches I heed not, nor vain, empty praise Thou mine inheritance, now and always Thou and Thou only first in my heart High King of heaven, my treasure Thou art High King of heaven, my victory won May I reach heaven’s joys, O bright heaven’s sun Heart of my own heart, whatever befall Still be my vision, O ruler of all Heart of my own heart, whatever befall Still be my vision, O ruler of all
Cover of Pedro The Lion and David Bazan Source: Musixmatch Songwriters: Caleb Andrew Grimm / Eleanor H. Hull / Joseph P Stamper
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“Friends, there is no such thing as “Christian” rock. This is a lie of the devil. We are not to transform ourselves to the world, for the Bible says that as God’s people we “are at enmity with the world.” There is no “Christian” whiskey, no “Christian” pornography, no “Christian” adultery, and no “Christian” rock.” — Texe Marrs
Rich Williams 