Uncategorized User Experience

Doggo-Lingo Phonetic Alphabet 

It has come to my attention that occasionally when floofy chonks bork, they quirk with mlem to xolo with quirks to yap. So here’s the snoot for awoo. Mommos and daddos, the doggo-lingo phonetic alphabet:


Awoo: howling
Bork: barking
Chonk: hefty dog, also known as thicc
Doggo: any dog, always 12/10, and all good bois
Eddie: Frasier’s dog
Floof: Furry, fluffy, lots of it
Growler: Dogs who had a bad day, maybe big like the container
H*ck: Censored version of heck, a pretty bad word
Inu: Japanese for dog, popularized by Shiba Inu
Jo-fi: Sigmund Freud’s dog, witness to his sessions
Kitty: Growler’s worst enemy
Loaf: When dogs are sit-laying on their tummies with the paws tucked
Mlem: Dog kisses
Nuggs: Chimkin is important to a pupperino
Oh-boy: Dogs express satisfaction
Pupper: Not just a puppy, any dog

User Experience

My response: “Lorem Ipsum Fails: Why Real Graphic Designers and Advertisers Use Real Content by Paul Barth”

I feel like real content is the fastest way to get your layout, headlines, fonts, possibly images, red-lined and marked up with unnecessary comments about the content that are irrelevant to the mission critical task of making visual decisions. This article is nice, but misguided. Lorem ipsum requires one conversation with the client about its purpose, not a hundred conversations like, “Oh, we’ve moved this to the Dallas market,” or “Oops, he doesn’t work here anymore.,” or “I think we’re going to nix the British spelling of colour for this piece.” All of the comments may be for another party or stage of production and ultimately influence stakeholder decision to choose the wrong layout based on too much content editing in the mocks.

An otherwise five-minute meeting can easily become a pet-peeve soapbox about dated copy, and when you’re just trying to get a template approved, this is counter productive.

This is a response to:

User Experience

The Giff vs. Jiff battle rages on…

This year I realized that the Graphics Interchange Format is likely here to stay.

So how do you pronounce GIF when your friends send you an animated five seconds from Harold and Kumar?

If something is done in a jiffy, it’s done quickly, an advantage of the GIF.

The format creator is on record calling it a jiff.

If you go to the gym and see Jim but do a jig at your gig, then what?

Here’s why I now say Giff.

‘Graphic’ starts with a hard G.

Gin is a great gift. Do you get my gist? The only word in the English language that starts with G-I-F is gift, with a hard G. No jiffed with a J.

Last, if you take all logical spellings of the term, you get GIF, GIFF, JIF, and JIFF. Mathematically, if you pronounce G-I-F with a soft G or J sound, there’s literally no way to spell the hard G version and at least four ways to spell jiff.

So what do you think? How did you read the name when you started the article, and then when you finished.


Next week: J-pedge.

Reviews User Experience

5 Dallas Liquor Deliveries: Total Wine and Spec’s Instacart, Drizly, Doordash and Favor

I saved as much as 17% of Instacart’s Total Wine over Drizly, but both are great compared to the competitors.

I ordered seven of my favorite 750ml liquor bottles from Instacart’s Total Wine and Drizly to compare prices and apps. Doordash, Favor and Instacart’s Specs are too expensive or don’t have enough menu information to proceed.

Instacart $10 off coupon for me* and you:
Drizly Promo Code $5 off for me* and you: SYPWK –
*LOL, full disclosure.

Drizly UX
Each variety contains multiple sizes ( + )
Major price padding ( – )

Instacart UX
Sort by price/unit ( + )
Weird filtering ( – )
Each variety size is an individual item ( – )

Instacart Total Wine $101.97* to $123.97
Drizly $122.79* to $139.04


Kentucky Deluxe/Gentleman 750ml
DRIZ $6.49
ICTW $6.29

Jack Daniel’s Old No. 7 750ml
DRIZ $22.99
ICTW $17.99

Jim Beam Bourbon Whiskey 750ml
DRIZ $15.49
ICTW $11.99

TAAKA Gin 750ml
DRIZ $5.99
Potter’s Dry ICTW $5.49

Bombay Sapphire Gin 750ml
DRIZ $23.99
ICTW $18.99

Malibu 750ml
DRIZ $15.49
ICTW $13.29

Kraken 750ml
DRIZ $17.99
ICTW $15.99

Product Subtotal
DRIZ $108.43
ICTW $90.03

Service Fee*
ICTW $8.50 (Optional)

Delivery Fee
ICTW $5.99
DRIZ $5.00

Tip* (Optional/Variable)
ICTW 15% $13.50
DRIZ 15% $16.25

ICTW $5.95
DRIZ $9.36

Total w/ Tax
ICTW 123.97

*Cutting corners on service fees and tips can make Drizly tips and Instacart’s tips and service fee less. These are optional fields, but I always imagine these amounts go into the prioritization and care of my order. Alcohol is a luxury product, so if you can’t afford suggested gratuity for the delivery or the technology, maybe get off your ass. If you’ve served our country or plan on drinking all this yourself and have a hard time getting to the liquor store, by all means, tip less and ditch the service fee, but most of you should do the right thing.

User Experience

Are you getting forwarded calls from an unwanted Google number?

Yesterday, a client had an interesting dilemma. They somehow have their two extensions listed as the forwarding number for Google Voice numbers, that unfortunately used to belong to a fast-food restaurant and a dime store chain. Their office manager was overwhelmed with a dozen or more calls a day for these old numbers, still listed in the online yellow pages. Here’s how we solved the problem.

Hi *****, ***** and *****,

As you may be aware, we are receiving bogus phone calls from Google numbers being redirected to our 2 phone lines. Confused callers have reported dialing the following two numbers, which today lead to a dress store and a disconnected message:

  • ***-***-****
  • ***-***-****

Based on Google’s recommendation for dealing with this type of issue under “Stop getting forwarded calls” on,
I am making the following recommendation: Let’s take back our numbers!

“Stop getting forwarded calls: If you verified your personal number in error or as part of a scam, your number could be linked to someone else’s Google Voice account. To stop getting forwarded calls, reclaim your phone number by adding it as a linked number to a new or existing Google Voice account.”

***** and *****, ***** has chosen you two to help with this problem. Here’s the step-by-step:

  • Login to with your ***** email
  • Click “Get a Voice number” in the left menu
  • Click “I want a new number”
  • Important: on “Add a forwarding phone”
    *****, type in ***-***-**** and ***** is ***-***-****
  • Under Phone Type, choose Work
  • Next Step: Reclaim a verified phone
  • Choose “Call me now” and have ***** type in the two-digit code
  • Name and message recordings are optional
  • Under “Choose your number” in the “Area, zip code or city” field, type “*****”
  • Pick a ***** number, click “Continue”
  • You will see a “congratulations” modal and a number reminder
  • Congrats, we are now in control of the Google numbers that correspond to our lines

As an aside, these numbers will show as your number if you ever use your computer to make a google voice or hangouts call, which I highly recommend. Anytime you need to call someone and you don’t necessarily want them to have your cell or can’t access a Precocity line, log in to where you can call or text from the number associated with your precocity email account.

Last, simply reply all to this message with your new number. That way if ***** continues to receive calls, she can call your two lines to check the integrity of our phone system. Let me know if you have any issues, as it is possible that you may receive the occasional voicemail or text in the form of an email from google voice. Please let me know as soon as both numbers have been changed so ***** and I can call to confirm. We will also repeat these steps if we find another ***** line.

We will continue to find unique ways to combat phone spam, thanks for your help today. By the way, based on the instructions I just gave you, I can now be reached on my personal Gmail voice line (forwarding to my cell) of 972-638-RICH.


The client notified me later that they had now received a call from a caller looking for a national retail chain office, but had called the actual number. We found an online misprint of a matching area code and phone number that explains that and will continue to investigate and work on ways to reduce misguided callers.

When asked what else the client could do, I added that wrong numbers are a cost of doing business if your company answers its phone, which I strongly encourage. One low-tech solution I recommended is Ruby Receptionists, who cost about $1-2/minute but can professionally and nicely answer all your calls and forward legitimate customers onto your main line.

I’ll close with an anecdote I shared with the client: Is there a way to stop them from calling? 

Not really, not without burning the number. It’s a cost of doing business. When I was growing up, my phone number was 1 digit off from the local cable company. People would call in the middle of the night if their “movie” wasn’t working. You can imagine how a call like that might go at 3am.

As of today, “Filthy Rich” Wiliams can be reached at 972-638-RICH. Rich is a user experience developer and problem solver with an MBA in Marketing and a psychology background. He’s still scarred from the 3am phone calls as a teenager. Rich Williams uses high-tech and low-tech solutions to solve problems. His team developed the app a major retailer CEO uses to check sales numbers every morning and Capital One’s Auto Navigator and Home Mortgages and Refinancing user interfaces. And he took back one client’s phone numbers from scammers. Call (214) 945-3382 or email for answers to your high tech and low tech questions.