(Because love is a battlefield — and you’re not here to get picked off.)
Rule #1: Stay Out of Sight
AKA, Don’t Bleed All Over the First Date
You’re fascinating. A layered onion of dreams, trauma, playlists, and Spotify-wrapped regrets.
But first dates are for appetizers — not the full trauma tasting menu.
Leave something to wonder about. Overshare too soon, and you’re an open target for weirdos and lovebombers.
Rule #2: Use Cover — Protect the Squishy Bits
That heart of yours? Yeah, it’s beautiful. It also bruises easily.
Keep it behind emotional Kevlar until you know they’re not a walking red flag wrapped in charm.
Boundaries = hot. Desperation = camouflage for snipers.
Rule #3: Keep Moving, Soldier
They ghosted you? That’s fine — you’re a moving target.
Someone takes 72 hours to reply to a “hey”?
Drop, roll, and exit left.
Momentum is sexy. Don’t stall your life for someone still deciding.
Rule #4: Blend In Before You Stand Out
Look, peacocks are fun. But if you’re doing full showgirl energy on the first text exchange,
they may confuse you for a Vegas residency.
Ease into your sparkle. Be the plot twist, not the opening credits.
Rule #5: Watch for Scope Glint
AKA, Red Flag Flash
He says all his exes are “crazy”?
She jokes that she’s “toxic but worth it”?
You just saw the glint from the sniper nest.
Do not lean in. Do not rationalize.
Slide, strafe, and sprint.
Rule #6: Trust the Recon Team
AKA, Your Friends
Your friends don’t hate fun — they hate emotional body bags.
If everyone in your group chat sends you the side-eye emoji, maybe they know something you don’t.
Let them spot the danger while you’re still lovestruck and blind.
Rule #7: Don’t Be Predictable
No one’s attracted to a human doormat with a Google Calendar that only says “WAITING FOR A TEXT.”
Live your life. Take up space. Go dark for a bit.
Mystery keeps you sniper-proof.
Final Word
Dating’s a war zone sometimes, but it’s also a dance.
Stay alert. Stay fly.
And remember: if they’re aiming at you, it’s probably because you shine!
About the Author
Rich Williams is a software developer, musician, and emotional survival strategist based in North Texas. When he’s not crafting sticker packs or dodging romantic red flags (vicariously, these days), he’s happily married to Johanna, his partner in design, wit, and life for over two decades. Together they’re raising their 12-year-old son, Charlie — a kid with better instincts than most dating apps. Rich blends humor, heart, and a bit of battlefield strategy to navigate love, parenthood, and the modern world with charm and resilience.
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