Categories
Uncategorized

Lyrics from 3CG and GS5

WHEN I STILL HAVE TO CLOSE MY EYES JUST TO SEE YOU? AND WHY HAVE THESE 29 YEARS BROUGHT ME HERE? WHEN I’ VE'”‘ AL J;;ADY [-,OST THE ME ING OF SINCERE? [ E A] l J Pr C \ I’VE BEE ALIVE FOR ALMOST EIGHT DAYS AND I CANT SLEEP AT NIGHT DUE TO YOUR MYSTERY WAYS I ASKED AROUND AND FOUND I AINT GOT REASON TO SAY WILL YOU BE MY QUEEN FOR A DAY? WILL YOU BE MY QUEEN FOR A DAY? WILL YOU BE MY QUEEN?OR A DAY? ( BUT WHAT HAVE THESE 29 YEARS BROUGHT ME TO? WHEN I STILL HAVE TO CLOSE MY EYES JUST TO SEE YOU? AND WHY HAVE THESE 29 YEARS BROUGHT ME HERE TO THIS PLACE? WHEN I’VE ALREADY FOUND THE MEANING OF SINCERE IN YOUR FACE? SO I’LL KEEP ON LAUGHING AND MAYBE YOU’LL RESPOND TO MY SOS PHONE CALL FROM ACROSS YOUR LAWN AND I’LL KEEP ON SINGING THAT SONG THAT YOU HEARD MY EARS WILL KEEP RINGING THIS IS SO ABSURD AND I’LL KEEP ON DRAWING THE CURVES OF YOUR SHIRT THE BLOOD THAT THEY’RE DRAWING NEVER REALLY HURT AND I’LL KEEP ON TELLING THIS HOPE THAT I KNOW I CAME TO PAR WITH TEN YEARS AGO BUT WHAT HAVE THESE 29 YEARS BROUGHT ME TO? MY EYES ARE ALWAYS CLOSE ALL I SEE IS YOU? AND WHY HAVE THESE 29 YEARS BROUGHT ME HERE TO THIS PLACE? . WHEN I’VE ALREADY LO!HT HE MEANIN0 OF SINCERE IN YOUR FACEI -:- [F# A F# A F# A F# E] -.\{J \ AND YOU’ RE STILI,JiN I MIND/ WHAT A WASTE OFOTIME. ” ) AND YOU’ RE STILL ON MY MIND(/) WHAT A WASTED OF TIME.c…._w 00 LONG jl. – [Em D C] ( -L) 0’fl\ When she’s drinking, she says things I don’t think I believe. And I’m not one to practice to decieve, but I’d be lying if told you that I’m not crying when I hold you. And the more I get to know you, the more of me I’ll show you. When I say I love you, She reaffirms that I’m a nice guy. When I say I love you, She reaffirms how much she likes me. me and doug and travis we thought and thought and thought there’s somoething terribly wrong with this house that we bought i said, “there must be something that we are allowed to do besides smile charming and just act cute we asked the lord to do us all a favor and do away with our annoying next door neighbors doug said, “hey i know a way to get them back!” we made brownies and filled them with ex-lax 20 years ago the hatfields and mccoys now the folks next door vs. the three car boys what can we do to make them understand how do we talk to the race track fans me and doug and travis found a new place to play we’re tired of being shot at and frowned to every day. It makes me smile to remember the times before. And the fire that ravaged the house next door. Look by Rich Williams DIE DIB G When I look into your eyes. DIE DIB G When I look into your eyes. DIE DIB G When I look into your eyes. DIE DIB G I can dream. DIE DIB G When I look in through your eyes. DIE DIB G When I look in through your eyes. DIE DIB G When I look in through your eyes. DIE DIB G I can see. Everything. G A I’d forgotten what it’s like to feel this way. G A I’d forgotten what it’s like, and I don’t know what to G A I’d forgotten what it’s like. A D GIB G I’m leaving you today. D GIB G say. ‘L ·nJ,A ) 6 1 well i’m wondering is it for real – [A]but this how you felt -and the hand you were dealt [B]will never[A] be understanded so bloom where you’re planted[B C#m A C#m B C#m A] I Internet Song rich williams I don’t believe the internet has really changed my life yet, and I just can’t afford a new car. And I really don’t believe something that can be thieved can really make or break who you are. And I won’t write a song about what’s right or wrong cause who am I but filth and honest dirt? Don’t believe what I say. In an hour I’ll go away. And You’ll still have posession of your hurt. Forget what’s best for me. I just want you see the eighteen year old boy who wrote this verse. If you only knew what I was trying to tell you, you’d no longer be capable of thirst. You’d no longer wander. You’d no longer hurt. You’d no longer cry. You’d no longer search. You’d no longer fear. You’d no longer search. And I don’t believe the internet has really changed my life yet. And I just can’t afford a new car. 29 YEARS [ E A] I LIVED FOR 29 YEARS THINKING I WASN’T PRETTY ENOUGH I LIVED FOR 29 YEARS UNWORTHY OF YOUR LOVE I WAITED 29 YEARS JUST TO SEE YOU SMILE I WAITED 29 YEARS AND FORGOT FOR A WHILE [ C#m B A] 1< c_ (;! fl .::tl::) , flt? BUT WHAT HAVE TH!:SE 2 9 YEARS BROUGHT ME TO? b f L Ci (J.fa’.Jv and i stayed there til the end but i realized i was lonely [Em]when i [A]made my [C]one-hundredth friend [C] [G] [Em] [C] what i was was someone else well that don’t matter now’ who he is is in this book and he can show you chorus i used to go down to the churchhouse but i never understood but he always understood me and he says that i am good band out i used to go down to the popscicle stand Weather or Not by Derek Webb and Rich Williams Chorus: G A E GE Cause the weather don’t stop wheter or not I’m alone. G A EGE And Everyday, today seems further away from home. EGE C D I can look into the mirror and see my choice. c . h O Tbr 9> But in this traffic Jam t e F. M. drowns out your stil 1 voice. E GA E G A A-(cule:_J I tore my room apart thinking I could find you there. Because I swear I hear your voice every time I hear draft. My guitar left me in March for an empty pawn shop. So I guess cause the craft left me I left my craft. So I bought a purple hat to keep my dry. And realized the rain was fears from the tears I,cried. And the wind along with my b rk sweetheart died. And I knew Noah knows the Yin ow lied. Chorus -· When I look into this crystal ball. D G/B When I look inside this hollow hall. D G/B When I’m looking waiting for your call. I see your face. D D G/B G G/B When I look outside this big backyard. D G/B When I look inside this old guitar. D G/B When I look I can’t see very far, D G/B G But I see your face. G G G G G C G If I could see forever in your eyes, C G F G F I promise you I’d never say goodbye, F G But tomorrow’s all I see. (That’s all she said.) F So please remember me. i miss you [ G C AF F# G] G Id like to sound pathetic for a while but id jump off a building just to see you smile let me be pathetic for a sec but id play in the street just to hug your neck [G C A] i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you id like to sound pathetic not for long but i was balling when i wrote this song Let me be pathetic for a spill cause it just might change your concrete will chorus id like to sound pathetic just for you there is nothing i would not do let me be pathetic on my knees im beggin you, im beggin you please G [G C] i wann hold y th di wanna kiss your lips i wan a be your man ti,ht at Dur finger tips i v1qnha: }ja_,ear ‘:) i w roy only chorus .. Mr. Teapot By Rich Williams [ E G A] ofce i mna make it right ho’ce t you tonight Mr. Teapot took Miss Cookie jar to his house by the sea. He said, “I’m A little teapot short and stout. Why don’t you marrry me? We can go to the city, I’ll be a waiter and you can teach!” They unfolded their checkered napkin and ate cookies on the beach. [Chorus] [AG# AG# AG# E G# A] Everybody say. I know it’s easy for kitchen utensils to fall in love. And I’m sure they often do, But Mr. Teapot ain’t go no idea about How much I love you. Let me be your Mr. Teapot baby, Even though I’m short and stout, ’cause Baby Love’s forever and, Yeah, I know We’ll Work it out. Mr Dinner Fork eyed Little Miss Spoon Accross the beef stew. He said, “Little Miss Spoon, I’d like to get a spoonful of you!” They got the knife to do the wedding for Mr. Beef, Chicken, and Pork. They jumped into the dishwasher and out came nine baby forks. [Chorus] [Bridge] [ E A D A] We go togeter like carrots and peas, cinnamon and sugar, ham and cheese. Like Peanut Butter and Jelly just to name a few. But they don’t go together like me and you. [Chorus] you can see it in her eyes she’s seen one two, one too many good-byes i met a woman whose abstract fears told an abstract story of twenty-six years she’d sell her body just to get a ride home but she’d sell her soul not to be alone and i don’t blame her for the love she’s looking for you you know you can’t bet your life on what’s behind door number two you can see it in her eyes shes seen one two, one too many good-byes (chorus:) [F] [/E] [CJ [G] there is a savior a place where someone knows your name the light’s on the hill you can see him he’s real cause there are angels they don’t just live in your dreams the truth is in his eyes make this your last good-bye (band out), (harmonica solo) [CJ there’s a [G]man I know who[Am] [F] no one would listen to (band in) he walked the earth unfollowed and forgot love is all love is all that he sought (break) and now he wants to love you because he don’t blame you for the love he’s looking for you he knows you cant’ bet your life on what’s behind door number two you can see it in his eyes this is your last good-bye (chorus) (band out) (harmonica outro) SOMEBOD [E A] I LIKE TO DRIVE WHEN IM NOT ALIVE LATE AT NIGHT IN THE EARLY MORNING I KNOW YOU SAID THAT THEY’D ALL BE DEAD BUT I JUST IGNORED YOUR EARLY WARNING I FLEW MY PLANE AND YOU WERE ASHAMED BUT YOUR FRIENDS SAID COOL SO YOU KEPT BRAGGING I WAS INSANE AND YOU WANTED CHANGE BUT THE TELEPHONE WOULD NOT QUIT NAGGING MY MACHINES FILLED WITH PILING UP BILLS AND YOUR DRIVING IN YOUR BRAND NEW SPORTS CAR I’M GETTING TICKED THIS STAMP HAS BEEN LICKED AND I JUST DON’T KNOW ANYMORE [E A B C#M A] IT’S NOT BAD IT’S NOT GOOD IT’S JUST TRUE IT’S NOT HIM OR HER OR YOU IT’S NOT ME[A], BUT IT’S GOTTA [B]E. SOMEBODY[E] SOMEBODY VOTED TIRED AND BLOATED YOUR HOLDING ON YOUR SILVER GRAIL I STARTED TO FEAR AND WISHED YOU WERE NEAR BUT YOU HAVEN’T EVEN CHECKED YOUR MAIL I’M NOT SLEEPING AND YOU’RE NOT KEEPING THE PROMISES YOU MADE BY CALLING I’VE BEEN WAKING TO PEOPLE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF EVERYTHINGS FALLING MY GUITARS BROKEN FROM WORDS THAT WERE SPOKEN BEFORE I REALLY UNDERSTOOD IT I SHAVED OF MY HAIR AND UNPIERCED MY EAR BUT THAT SHOULDN’T MATTER OR SHOULD IT CHORUS [C#m Dm C#m Em] I WAS WALKING UP A HILL LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO KILL BUT AFTER CLOSE INSPECTION MY VICTIM WAS MY REFLECTION Mr BB gun me and doug and travis were playing in our room we’d just finished our last song when we heard a boom the noise was loud and game from all around next thing we knew our window smashed to the ground travis complained that something had stung his cheek doug repeated something he said last week, “our neighbors hate us but this time is not the first, we’re gonna blow them right off the face of the earth!” mr bb gun, come on this ain’t much fun why are you so undone to put a bb through our window mrs dirty stare i get your message lo,ud and clear what is it that you fear to put a bb through our window —1–J..– – q 9 . w ,—l–V-<,,..v –“”J o l?.i:l:4 s . d · , She can’t say I love you. She can’t say I love you. It just might take too long. When I’m angry, I say things I don’t think I believe, and one day I’ll say what I can’t retrieve. But it’s been too long since I have held you. And days since I’ve felt your smile. But I’ll just get over it for a while. When I say I love you, She reaffirms that I’m a nice guy. When I say I love you, She reaffirms how much she likes me. I can’t say I love you. I can’t say I love you. &just might take too long. 1/ And this curse of membe ing. This conc t of di ering. What I wi I was. , Who I’m not d why? “‘B’ecause. I said no because I eouldn’ t, !) but you know it’s cause I ouldn’t. I can’t say I love you. I can’t say I love you. I can’t say I love you. It just might take too long. When I say I love you. She reaffirms that I’m When I say I love you. She reaffirms how much And she just can’t say W–It just might take too one two many (intro: harmonica) a nice guy. she (\ likes me. it.–\._, long. [CJ there’s this [G]lady in my [Arn] place of [F]business fell in love on a whim and asked herself who is this left her eying in her mouth a bad taste call to the lawyers in dept to her waste (band in) and i don’t blame her for smoking three packs a day you can’t kill yourself fast if you just slip away ns \(tdr\ WtlttOMv:s \ \ _ I’ve got a bookmark from my fifth grade Sunday school teacher. It’s yellow and the raindrops spell out words. But if only precipitation was communication. The storm cloud psalms and the hail proverbs. [TACET] (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, and Frosty the Snowman.) Chorus So I bought a purple hat to keep my dry. And realized the rain was fears from the tears I cried. And the wind along with my bookmark sweetheart died. And I knew Noah knows the rainbow never lied. Chorus But in this traffic jam the F. M. drowns out your still, small voice . . bloom by rich williams ¥6*) [E B A] there’s an old man 1:’iying to turn left and a little boy chasing a brown dog and theres mad man going a little too fast and a black and white car and a man who plays god theres a schoot,_gl.__£1 crossing broadway at three and close vacarrt lot football game and there’s an old woman wondering what is it i’m doing and i’m wonderin is it for real po_w [E]Is it al [B lS lt ane [A] hat’s in a name[E] where will you be[C#m] in five minutes [BJ is it real is it sane a. tell me who….’..1s to b e \ji.nd i’ll go back ho when i’m finished is it for real there’s a family wondering what they’ve got left and a fireman missing his black and white dog and there’s a boy and a girl moving a little too fast and not a soul searching for god and there’s an actress belonging to broadway wondering how it must feel and there’s a poor poet wondering what is it i’m doing wind i am waiting for this chapel to tell me when to leave to open up it’s doors and know what i believe i am waiting for this hassle to turn and walk away i opened up the bible afraid of “what it’d say “‘D/.cause i don’t really know what i’m gonna do \when will the wind blow the direction i need ,,,.,, \., e \…..,i can’t even taste i can’t even change the direction o black blood i bleed / tl°? 4” JJ1i am waiting for a whitehorse to pick m up f:r ork vi simply teeter-totter i am simply irt i altl waiting my for y i a waiting foe:-my friends all. i’m w this w-aiting to end the java intro: [ Em] [A] [ C ] [ D ] x 2 break i used to go down to the popscicle stand until i found out it’s been blown by a people from a foreign land i said this is not my home break i used to go ntil i wat it takes an [Em] it takes down to the coffee shop d the jave burn r to read the morning paper a [A]minute just to learn [C] who y [ C] who who who [G] are [Em not a [A]matter of finding yourself re is in who live within not a camera or a mirror forever friend [Em] [A] [C] [D] x 2 long break i used to go to toms. lubbock high [ C] I (; ) ‘, ) the 

Categories
Uncategorized

My response to “Did Jesus Die for Everyone?” by Erik Raymond

Some quotes from my morning article: “There is no way to improve upon the work of Christ—it is infinite and perfect.” (Except it relies on born-sinful humans (Calvinist persp.) to inform others.) “To be clear, when Calvinists speak of limited atonement, we are not speaking in terms of its value but rather the extent of it.” (Which is limited to sinful man’s (again, Calvinist persp.) ability to translate a modern accepted format of scripture and explain it in evangelical terms to everyone.)

This is a good article, but lots of holes.

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/erik-raymond/jesus-die-everyone/

Here’s another quote from the article: “B. B. Warfield says, “The things we have to choose between are an atonement of high value or an atonement of wide extension. The two cannot go together.” Atonement for everyone would be considered of higher value than limited atonement. That’s at least up for discussion. It’s simple economics: If I gave a dollar to everyone, it would have a much higher value in all than if I gave a dollar to the at most 25% of evangelical humans on earth. Approximately 4x more value. Jesus is not a LeBron James rookie card.

Kosmos – the universe, creation (gr) John 3:16 — If we were to literalize every selective salvation verse, we would know that “it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” (Camels cannot go through needles so biblically speaking, no one who accumulates wealth goes to heaven, say 10% of born again Christians, the alternative which is eternal damnation and separation from God, including infinite torment.) Infinite torment seems like a solid choice from a “just God” in return for being unaware of a few facts.

Jesus did die for everyone. There’s more biblical proof for than against.

Categories
Uncategorized

An examination of Confederate documents

I’m a big fan of original language, original translation, source-direct, historical documents. So here’s the million dollar question:

Did the Civil War and the Confederacy, including it’s flag, have anything to do with Africa or “Negro” slavery?

From the individual state articles of confederacy and confederate constitution, I present the direct response.

South Carolina

“They have denounced as sinful the institution of slavery; they have permitted open establishment among them of societies, whose avowed object is to disturb the peace and to eloign the property of the citizens of other States. They have encouraged and assisted thousands of our slaves to leave their homes; and those who remain, have been incited by emissaries, books and pictures to servile insurrection.”

Mississippi

“Our position is thoroughly identified with the institution of slavery– the greatest material interest of the world. Its labor supplies the product which constitutes by far the largest and most important portions of commerce of the earth. These products are peculiar to the climate verging on the tropical regions, and by an imperious law of nature, none but the black race can bear exposure to the tropical sun.”

Florida

“It is in so many words saying to you we will not burn you at the stake but we will torture you to death by a slow fire we will not confiscate your property and consign you to a residence and equality with the african but that destiny certainly awaits your children – and you must quietly submit or we will force you to submission – men who can hesitate to resist such aggressions are slaves already and deserve their destiny.”

Alabama

“They are hereby, instructed to insist on the enactment by said Convention of such restrictions as will effectually prevent the re-opening of the African Slave Trade.”

Georgia

“For the last ten years we have had numerous and serious causes of complaint against our non-slave-holding confederate States with reference to the subject of African slavery. They have endeavored to weaken our security, to disturb our domestic peace and tranquility, and persistently refused to comply with their express constitutional obligations to us in reference to that property, and by the use of their power in the Federal Government have striven to deprive us of an equal enjoyment of the common Territories of the Republic.”

“It was the announcement of her purpose to appropriate to herself all the public domain then owned and thereafter to be acquired by the United States. The claim itself was less arrogant and insulting than the reason with which she supported it. That reason was her fixed purpose to limit, restrain, and finally abolish slavery in the States where it exists. The South with great unanimity declared her purpose to resist the principle of prohibition to the last extremity.”

Texas

“That in this free government *all white men are and of right ought to be entitled to equal civil and political rights* [emphasis in the original]; that the servitude of the African race, as existing in these States, is mutually beneficial to both bond and free, and is abundantly authorized and justified by the experience of mankind, and the revealed will of the Almighty Creator, as recognized by all Christian nations; while the destruction of the existing relations between the two races, as advocated by our sectional enemies, would bring inevitable calamities upon both and desolation upon the fifteen slave-holding states.”

Louisiana

“At the same time, white Louisianans shared other southerners’ commitment both to slavery and to opposition to federal interference with the institution either in the states or territories. Consequently, the rise of a sectional Republican Party dedicated to stopping slavery’s expansion caused Louisianans to reevaluate their allegiance to the United States. In particular, two events pushed them toward secession. First, John Brown’s failed abolitionist raid on Harpers Ferry, Virginia, in October 1859 heightened sensitivity toward both immediate threats to slavery and to the strengthening Republican Party.”

Confederate Constitution

“The importation of negroes of the African race from any foreign country other than the slaveholding States or Territories of the United States of America, is hereby forbidden; and Congress is required to pass such laws as shall effectually prevent the same.” (Forbidden to send an African negro to potential free union states)

“No bill of attainder, ex post facto law, or law denying or impairing the right of property in negro slaves shall be passed.”

(Forbids slavery criminalization)

“In all such territory the institution of negro slavery, as it now exists in the Confederate States, shall be recognized and protected be Congress and by the Territorial government.”

Categories
Uncategorized

Wash your hands in the water

Wash your hands in the water,

But do not swim in the water, child.

The dam has broken.

The tsunami has washed through

the towns uphill.

We know

because we see the water rising.

I know you want to play in the high tide,

but the wave is coming with a crash.

I know you want to dunk and splash.

But we must hold our maker’s hand

So that we may not drown

like our brothers and sisters closer to

the great source.

Wash your hands in the water,

But do not swim in the water, child.

#poetry #poem #poet #poets #covid #covid19 #coronavirus #washyourhands #water #tsunami #corona #covid_19

Categories
Uncategorized

What The Pup by Charlie

Edited by Rich Williams | Illustrated by Sudesha Shrestha | A WORK IN PROGRESS | ”When What the pup arrived at The World Zoo with Mommy and Daddy, he knew exactly who he wanted to see first, the pandas.”

What The Pup

By Charlie Williams

When What the pup arrived at The World Zoo with Mommy and Daddy, he knew exactly who he wanted to see first, the pandas.

But Mommy and Daddy were hungry for breakfast. Their park package passes to the World Zoo included an all-you-can-eat brunch with breakfast quesadillas, tacos, burritos, queso, and nachos.

“I want brunch, can we please get brunch?”

After a tasty Mexican brunch, Mommy, Daddy, and What the Pup sat on a bench watching the other families scarf their breakfast tacos. Mommy grabbed her big blue backpack and darted off, saying, “I’ll be right back!”

She ducked into the bathroom but soon came out, heading away from What the Pup and Daddy, straight for The World Zoo’s fancy, humongous gift shop. Out she came a few minutes later, a smile on her face, and a blue backpack on her back, but completely empty-handed!


Their first stop on their journey was The Penguins and Flamingos, among What the Pup’s favorite. That’s where they met Diego, the Avian Zookeeper. Diego asked What the Pup what he thought of The Penguins and Flamingos.

“Penguins wear tuxes, flamingos wear pink, but I’d like to go see the pandas, I think.”

What the Pup asked Diego, “Where are The Pandas?” Diego smiled, “Of course, the pandas are directly south of the penguins and flamingos.” Diego grabbed another bucket of shrimp and an ice cooler of fish and headed back toward the birds.


Between Mommy and Daddy, both holding What the Pup’s hands, the trio walked down the straight path where they could see the elephants and the aardvarks in the distance.

What the Pup looked forward. Then he looked backward, then he grabbed Daddy’s hand and the loop on Mommy’s big blue backpack and followed the pair until he could see the Elephants and the anteaters, all with such long noses.

Their next stop on their trip was the elephants and aardvarks — classic zoo viewing at its finest. There, What the Pup met Henry, the Safari zookeeper. That’s when Henry asked What the Pup how he was enjoying The World Zoo, especially the elephants and aardvarks.

“Elephants, anteaters, peanuts, and ants. I’m pretty sure pandas eat green bamboo plants.”

What the Pup asked Henry, “Where are the pandas?” Henry smiled. “I see, the pandas are due west of the elephants and aardvarks.” Henry filled a red bucket up with clear water from the green hose and hauled it off, headed for a thirsty aardvark or elephant.


This made no sense to What the Pup. If the pandas were south of the aviary, how could they be west of the safari?


What the Pup raced to catch up with Mommy and Daddy, half skipping, half dancing down the straight path until he caught up. Of course, they’d been keeping an eye on him, but he was looking straight ahead at the zebras and giraffes.

“Zebras are striped, and giraffe’s necks are long, but I have to go, or the pandas might be gone.”

Daddy put What the Pup on his back and reached for Mommy’s hand. The team strolled straight down the path toward the chimpanzee and orangutan habitats.

“Orangutans are loud, but chimpanzees are louder, when I find those pandas, I could not be prouder.”


At the end of the day, What the Pup said, “Oh man, when are we gonna see The Pandas?” But Mommy grabbed What the Pup’s hand, and they walked to the parking lot as the rain began to swell. The family team walked across the parking lot to the World Zoo Hotel, where they checked in to their room at The World Zoo’s resort.

What the Pup got in bed, and after Mommy and Daddy kissed him goodnight, he quickly fell asleep in the hotel bed. He was tired from all that walking.

Soon What the Pup woke up, not in his bed at all, but on the bench in The World Zoo. Mommy’s big blue backpack underneath his head like a pillow, he sat up and looked around. There was nobody at The World Zoo.

Suddenly, Mommy’s big blue backpack began to unzip, a little, then halfway, then all the way, and out popped a giant stuffed panda bear, far too big to ever fit in any bag, not to mention Mommy’s big blue backpack.

The panda took What the Pup’s hand and nodded as if he wanted What the Pup to follow him. They walked down the straight path until What the Pup began to hear the unmistakable sound of…monkeys. Oooh ooh, aaah aah.

Chuck was the loudest chimpanzee, third or fourth. “Pandas,” he said, “are found in the north.”

Ellie, the elephant, was sure she knew best. “Pandas,” she said, “are located west.”

Joey giraffe was quiet at least, but she knew the pandas were, “well, in the east.”

Penny, the penguin, had fish in her mouth, but, “All of those pandas are just to the south.”

Suddenly, What the Pup awoke to the morning sounds of The World Zoo, but he wasn’t in The World Zoo anymore, he was wrapped up snug in his hotel sheets and blankets. The zoo was waking up across the parking lot from the hotel.

It was all a colorful dream. He’d seen the animals one at a time. Each gave him a clue to the whereabouts of the pandas. What the Pup wasn’t sure what it all meant, but he felt confident today was his today to find a panda.

He crawled out of the hotel bed next to Mommy and Daddy’s bed and happily hugged his mommy awake. He ran over to Daddy’s side of the bed and smacked Daddy on the belly, startling Daddy awake.

They skipped breakfast to cross the street straight to The World Zoo.


Now, it was time to find the pandas. Mommy, Daddy, and What the Pup walked down the straight path, past aardvarks and elephants, past penguins and flamingos, past chimpanzees and orangutans, and past zebras and giraffes.

What the Pup was tired of walking. Defeated, he looked down and strolled in no particular direction at all. That’s when he realized it.

The path felt straight, but actually, it curved quite a bit into a round, grand circle. The Flamingos and Penguins were in the North. The Elephants and Anteaters were in the East. The Chimpanzees and Orangutans were in the South, and The Giraffes and Zebras were in the West. What the Pup began to wonder if all the animals and zookeepers had been right the whole time. Were The Pandas right in the very middle of The World Zoo?

What the Pup noticed a black and white path that veered off the way he used to think was perfectly straight. He used his hands to signal Mommy and Daddy to follow close behind. It felt like the wrong direction, the opposite of the path he’d followed the day before, but something was guiding him – his nose and the smell of…bamboo.

The pandas love to chew on the fresh and green bamboo.

What the Pup ran past the numerous panda signs to the panda habitat.

What the Pup made up a panda dance there on the spot, entertaining the passive pandas, and especially Mommy and Daddy, who recorded What the Pup’s impromptu dance to post on The World Zoo’s social media website.

What the Pup danced and ran back and forth to see all the giant pandas lounging in the trees and on unique habitat platforms The World Zookeepers built for them.

What the Pup had realized the loud chimpanzees and the quiet giraffes, the busy penguins, and the careful elephants all had equally essential clues that would eventually guide What the Pup to the giant pandas.

What the Pup told Mommy and Daddy he had dreamt he would find the giant pandas, and his dream had come true. Mommy unzipped her big blue backpack and pulled out a stuffed plush baby panda. She handed it to What the Pup and said, “Thank you for being our little zookeeper! I believe this little panda belongs to you.”

What the Pup hugged the baby panda as long and as hard as he wished he could embrace the giant pandas, who were undoubtedly off-limits in their trees and platforms. He posed with his baby panda and the giant pandas off in the distance for a photo he could take back to school when Kindergarten started in the fall.

What the Pup caught his breath and nodded to agree to head for The World Zoo’s exit. After all, Mommy, Daddy, and What the Pup had a long ride home, and What the Pup had a new friend. A friend he’d met in his dreams.

Categories
Uncategorized

An Aggie walks into a bar with a lightbulb…

An Aggie walks into a bar with a lightbulb and tells the bartender to make him a very strong drink. He then walks over to a lamp with the drink and places the lightbulb in a lamp, proceeding to down the strong beverage. “Stop! No! Don’t, please!” says the bartender.

A dad enjoying a drink at the bar watches the event and asks the bartender why he abruptly stopped the Aggie from drinking the concoction. “If that Aggie drinks enough, and the room starts to spin, everything we know about Aggies and lightbulbs could change forever.”

by Rich Williams

Categories
Uncategorized

My Favorite Dad Joke – The Million Ducks

A dad walks into a bar with a miniature piano and pulls out a tiny man. He sits the man down at the keyboard, and the man begins playing the most beautiful music. A passerby asks, “Sir, where did you get this amazing little musician?”

The dad replies that a genie in the alley is granting wishes, and the passerby immediately runs to the alley to find the genie. He returns yelling and flustered, followed by more ducks than the dad or bartender has ever seen. The passerby says, “I think your genie is deaf, I asked him for a million bucks and he gave me a million ducks.”

The dad glances down at the tiny man making the beautiful music and says, “Do you really think I asked him for a twelve-inch pianist?”

Categories
Uncategorized

Criticism as Inspiration by David Bazan of Pedro the Lion

[Intro: Simple guitar riff, the bass comes in after one round on root with quarter notes]

I saw in the bedroom, the drawers had been emptied, looking for answers, but you won’t admit it now.

You don’t need a reason, that’s what you tell me, but I still don’t buy it, you drink yourself silly. Night after night.

It makes me feel so good to always tell you when you’re wrong. The big man that I am to always have to put you down. Put you down.

Then there’s your girlfriend, she opens her legs and gives your life meaning. Is that what you love her for?

The angel’s always looking down. He’s perfect with a frown. The bully always wins.

It makes me feel so good to always tell you when you’re wrong. The big man that I am to always have to put you down. Put you down.

[Sickest guitar solo in the history of indie sadcore…]

It makes me feel so good to always tell you when you’re wrong. The big man that I am to always have to put you down. It makes me look so good to always put you in your place. I can write it in a song, but never say it to your face. To your face.

 

Categories
Uncategorized

Beeline Baby by Charlie

I’m on a tight rope to the middle of nowhere, I’m making a beeline to LA.

Cause I’m a big, bad baby, a big, bad baby, a big, bad baby. I’m making a beeline.

I’m gonna take my new red car to the red tire store and buy myself some bright red tires.

— Charlie

Categories
Uncategorized

The Race To Nowhere

The tortoise had purpose

And the hare was there

Running in races

From here to nowhere

But I am a sly fox

And I’ll see you there

Timing the paces from here to nowhere

The tortoise named Horace

A rabbit named Fred

I’m a fox named Jeffrey

Let’s put this to bed

The turtle determined

The rabbit had speed

But I have what they want

I’ve got what you need

The race started early

The tortoise the hare

I entered a bit late

The race to nowhere

One sped by me

Confident he’d already won

The other had pace like

A six shooter gun

But victorys sweet when you haven’t a care

A fox smiling thinking from here to nowhere

The race started early

The tortoise the hare

I entered a bit late

The race to nowhere

The bunny was funny we took time for beers

He wiggles his wet nose and perked up his ears

The tortoise inched by me and I didn’t win

I may not be first place but I’m his best friend

The race started early

The tortoise the hare

I entered a bit late

The race to nowhere

See Nowheres too futile

Racing everyday

With sore joints and backbones

Too old to make hay

But friends are blue ribbons

To this sly old fox

I’ll take to the backyard

In my brown cardboard box

5 July 2017